Monday, July 21, 2014

Damn Regret

I've been hearing a lot about exes lately. Not mine, but my friends. And I love being there for them, and I have my own things that I look back on and regret doing or saying. We all do. It's impossible not to. But the past few weeks especially I've noticed just how much regret gets in the way of our futures. We all fear it so much that we're consumed by it. But why?

Obviously I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and then I came across this quote. I started thinking about all the things that I regretted doing or (even worse) not doing. Not turning back when I should have, walking away from a fight I should have fought, fighting a fight I was never going to win. The list goes on and on. And I'm 20.

So what's it going to be like when I'm 30? 40? Am I still going to be drowning in my thoughts of what I should or shouldn't have done every night when I go to bed? Will I still be stressing all the little things or big things that have ultimately made me who I am? Because I'm getting kind of tired of it.

It's true, the quote. We shouldn't ever regret anything we've said or done in the moment. We said what we felt and we meant what we said. We shouldn't regret the things we've spent hours and hours thinking about, trying to decide. We went with the choice we thought was best, and if we made the wrong decision, we made the wrong decision. We learn from it and we grow from it and we move on from it. We wake up each morning and face the day.

When we're young, we're supposed to be screwing up here and there. And we get in trouble and we feel guilt and pain and sadness and everything in between. We're supposed to be constantly learning. But nobody ever teaches us how much of a waste of time regret is. It's not a lesson learned in our textbooks, or one that, no matter how many times she tries, mom can get into your head. It's a lesson you have to learn on your own.

Think about the things you regret. The little things, the big things. Think back to the moment you made the decision to walk away or dive in. In that moment, were you doing or saying exactly what you really, deep down, wanted to? Because my guess is, your answer will be yes every time. And once you realize it, you can throw regret straight out the window.

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