Monday, October 27, 2014

What's Your Story?

When I start writing, I usually try to think of a title first thing. I'm a very logical person, so logically it makes sense to me to think of a title and then write the post, you know? Anyway, I'm usually extremely successful at it. Or at least I was, until today. 

Sometimes I'm curious if I'm the only one who goes through weeks at a time where I just feel totally and completely uninspired by anything and everything in my life. I turned 21, so I've been a bit busier than usual. I went to New York City last weekend, and I was in Boston this past weekend. I've had a great time and spent far too much money on wine and clothes things I really needed... but in spite of all that fun, I've just been in a funk.

I went to write this post knowing that I needed to write to get whatever it was I was feeling off my chest. I write every night before bed in a journal and I looked back on what I wrote over the past two weeks. A lot of it rotated around fear. Fear of letting go, and fear of moving on. It's not a new feeling to me as I'm sure you all know given how many times I've written about it. But there it was-- what I was going to write about-- fear, yet again. And then I came to write the title of the post and was utterly lost.

photo; modified by Emily Blauvelt

It sounds funny, but I realized then and there what was wrong with me. I've been trying so hard to envision a life for myself that seems ideal, and forgetting to actually focus on the here and now. I've been trying to figure out what the title of my life story will be called, before fully appreciating and taking part in the life experiences that make it a story worth telling.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about who I could be a year from now. It feels like I'm drowning in a sea of what if's. I hate constantly asking myself whether or not I can do something. Because the truth is, up until this point in my life, I have managed to prove myself time and time again. And, if the future is anything like the past, then I'll continue to do so. But it's scary-- this point in my life. It's different than graduating high school; there is no safety net, and I've never been without a net to catch me if I fall. 

At this point in life, it's really easy to worry about how your actions now affect your future later. It's a good thing to worry about, but not in excess. I wouldn't be the woman I am today without having done the things I've done to get here. You can't forget to live because you're afraid of who you'll be a few years down the line. It's easy to miss things that are happening now because you're so focused on where you'll be in the future. But you got rid of the blinders, and get past the idea of there being any kind of prize in the future. You can't write the title of a story without actually having a story, because without a story, a title means nothing. In my rapidly expanding book of life lessons, when you're talking about people, a title is what people first judge you by, but a story consists of all the people and emotions and events that have made you you. So don't forget to write your story, but more importantly, don't forget to live it.

"Every story is based on a truth. Your truth."


p.s. YES I most absolutely purposefully used a picture of Taylor Swift for this post because 1989 drops today! WHO'S EXCITED?!

Monday, October 13, 2014

21 Things

Today is my 21st birthday! My birthday has always been a favorite of mine for obvious reasons, and while in recent years it's been a little harder than usual, being alive one more year is always something to be thankful for! It's especially something to be thankful for when you can legally drink wine! Last night I celebrated at home with my family and friends and left feeling completely blessed. My best friend who goes to school in NY kept her mouth shut all weekend without letting me know she was in town and showed up at my front door, completely casual. And I cried my eyes out. Definitely a picture perfect evening. It was a great night, and tonight I celebrate with my closest girlfriends here at home! Japanese and scorpion bowls it is!

But, as I reflected last night in bed on the past 21 years of my life, I couldn't help but stumble upon all the different things I've learned. A lot of them are things I wish I'd been told when I was younger, so I brainstormed these 21 things I've learned about life thus far.

1. Hate is heavy, for your happiness you have to let it go.
2. Burning bridges hurts no one but yourself.
3. Make time for the people who make time for you.
4. Family is everything-- make them a priority, always.
5. Never leave angry.
6. Work hard, and stay humble.
7. Speak your truth.*
8. Joy is the best make-up.
9. Don't judge a book by it's cover.
10. Dance with the boy.*
11. Love with your whole heart.*
12. It's okay if you're not okay.
13. There's always a silver lining.**
14. When worst comes to worst, a friend is only a phone call, (or if you're lucky, a room) away.
15. Always be there for those you care most about, even if it's 2am and all you want to do is sleep. You never know when you'll be needing them.
16. There's a Taylor Swift song for everything.
17. Learn to budget.
18. Call your mom.
19. Accept others for who they are, flaws and all.
20. Accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all.
21. You are beautiful, no matter what voices or people tell you otherwise, you are beautiful. Inside and out.

* These lessons have been inspired by close friends and family, two of the largest influences on all that I've learned in my life.
** This lesson is definitely from Silver Linings Playbook, because it's in my top 3 favorite movies, and "the world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday", but "you have to do everything you can, you have to work your hardest, and if you do, you have a shot at a silver lining." So yeah, to me, there's always a silver lining-- if you remember to find it.


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Favorite Fall Phone Backgrounds

I'm definitely the kind of person who changes her phone cases and phone backgrounds with the season. It gets particularly crazy around the holidays, but fall is a big transition from the bright colors of summer too. Since I upgraded to the iPhone 5, I've been rocking this adorable case and I'm loving it. I love it even more than other cases I've had in the past because it's basically a neutral, and the anal side of myself enjoys when everything on my phone matches. #sorrrynotsorry

Lately I've been seeing some pretty cute phone backgrounds on Pinterest, and it got me inspired for the upcoming cooler days! You can bet I'll be rocking some of these this fall!

Feels like Fall

Which one is your favorite?


Friday, October 3, 2014

Foodie Fridays: Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cake

Going with the pumpkin kick I've been on this week, I spent some time in the kitchen yesterday making this delicious pumpkin chocolate chip cake from Two Peas and Their Pod. I made a few substitutions here and there (partially for health reason and partially because I forgot the butter I needed in my apartment fridge..), but it ended up turning out great!

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

A Pumpkin Fetish

It was brought to my attention last week when I did my fall to-do list that it was "aggressively about apples." It was also brought to my attention that the whole list could have been more #basic. It then turned into this thing about how I could be more basic. Good times!! I'm not sure how I feel about this #basic thing, but I swore then and there that I would dedicate a whole post about how much basics (and me) love pumpkins. Here it is!