Wednesday, July 30, 2014

10 Things We All Experienced During The Bachelorette Finale


I don't know about all you fellow #bachelorette viewers out there, but this season has got to be, hands down, my favorite. I honestly think Andi was one of the strongest women I've seen in the position of bachelorette, and I may or may not have cried when Josh finally got down on one knee and proposed! I know it's a show, but I actually firmly believe they're the real thing. And I am so happy for her! 

Chris Harrison didn't lie for once about this finale. I don't think any of us could have predicted everything that happened in those two hours. Andi sending Nick home before he could even propose was admirable, but holy s*it. My friend Sara and I were watching together, and both our mouths dropped. Needless to say, we were pleased with the finale and the season. OMG IT WAS SO GOOD YOU GUYS.

Oh my god, STAWP.

1. The obligatory "Holy-crap-we've-come-so-far-I-can't-believe-it's-already-the-finale-who-do-you-think-is-going-to-win" pre-finale freak out sesh with your gal-pal viewing party. Basically, if you're not in the "Who's going to win Andi's heart?" conversation, you're irrelevant.

2. "Oh my gosh, it's starting. Nobody speak." But there's always that one friend who doesn't ever shut up. Everyone but her is thinking:

3. The second Andi's dad blatantly says he'll be comparing Josh and Nick when Josh comes to meet the family you're like: "LIKE JOSH BETTER LIKE THE REST OF AMERICA YOU IDIOT." And then you can tell good ole Hy likes Josh better than nervous wreck, boring, Nick. That feeling once you realize Josh has won over not only Andi's heart, but her dad's? Victory, my friends. Nick is as good as gone now.

4. Throughout the whole episode Nick is acting like a pre-pubescent Cory Matthews. Except for it's not cute, it's creepy/extremely annoying.

Okay Nick, she smiled at you. I smile at a lot of guys, it doesn't translate into "OMG I'm in love with you." Jeezum.

5. Going off that, every time Nick opens his mouth you just want to be like:


6. Then during a commercial break Chris Harrison ever so slyly suggested that Chris Soules might be the next Bachelor. Cue every girl in America squealing and jumping for joy. Cue every single one of your friends claiming him. But you can't help but laugh to yourself, because you're just like, "Lawlz, it's cute how they think they stand a chance. He's mine."

7. When Andi showed up at Nick's room to tell him when she woke up that morning that "something was off", every one pulled a Taylor Swift.

Is it finally happening? Is she sending Grumpy home?

She's done it! So long Nick. We all knew she was going to pick Josh because Chris Harrison told us at the beginning that the man she didn't choose basically stalks her. And only Nick would do that. Obvi. Here's a message from all of us:

Dear Nick,


8. Josh proposes to Andi. It is the most rehearsed and well thought out proposal ever given on the show. Everybody cries because WHY DON'T WE HAVE BOYFRIENDS LIKE THAT? WHERE IS MY HUGE NEIL LANE ENGAGEMENT RING?!

9. By the time ATFR starts, you and your friends are all so emotionally exhausted and seriously questioning signing up for the next season of The Bachelor. You realize that you spent the past two hours stressed to the max about two people you have never met in your lives, and then to make matters worse, you realize that you spent the last ten minutes of The Bachelorette's season crying because you're so happy for these two people whom you actually DO. NOT. KNOW. You then realize you're semi-pathetic and turn to the only thing in the world that truly understands you (unless, you're like, in a happy relationship or something... in which case you're an anomaly.)

10. By the time the three hour debacle of a show finally wraps up at 11pm, you realize that you and all your friends are hammered and depressed. You've also chosen "Bottoms Up!" as your new group motto. Happy Monday.



Emma Gotbaum said...

So accurate! Great Job!
xoxo Emma

Esmeralda Burgos said...

Hahahahaha! This is hilarious! Great post! I totally agree. I never liked Nick, and I felt it was such a bad choice from the beginning. I honestly wanted the 3rd runner up to have taken Nick's place. But then I watched "The Men Tell All" and found out he didn't even love her for real. Whatever. Josh was a great pick.