Just take a second real quick here with me. Think back to five years ago--what you were doing, who you were friends with, what you were interested in, how you felt about your family. Is that person the same person you are today? The answer is probably no.
Five years ago I was fifteen. FIFTEEN! I remember it was the same year Taylor Swift's Fearless album came out; my mom's friend let me borrow it and told me the song "Fifteen" reminded her of me. I laughed and rolled my eyes. But now when I look back on it or whenever I hear the song, I smile. And it's not because of some old love, but more so because of all the things that have happened since then.
The Impossible Standard
I know it sounds stupid, but when we're all growing up isn't there some kind of fantasy life we hold onto? Something that we're constantly chasing after but may never get? Success, money, love, security, honesty, acceptance... the list goes on and on. And in a perfect world, we'd have it all! That kind of naiveté is the thing I associate most with being fifteen. The "perfect" life with the perfect guy and the perfect kids and the white picket fence (and maybe throw in a house on the Cape...). I dream big, alright?
I can't speak for guys because honestly, in the past five years, my ability to understand the way they work has been at a standstill. But for girls, and I see it in girls younger than me too, there is this idea revolving around perfection. There's the pressure to be perfect-- to date the right guy, to wear the right clothes, to get into the right school and to make the honor roll, to play varsity sports... Again, the list goes on and on.
Time to throw that list out the window.
I'm serious. Take the list you have in your head of who you should be and where your life should be going and get rid of it. The reality is, no matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone. Someone will always be disappointed. And isn't part of today's definition of "perfect" being liked by all? You see, you've already lost.
I have spent so many years trying to figure out who to be and who I should please. I've pondered millions and millions of times how to be perfect. Society has created this community where the ideal is everything. It impacts us, especially teens, more than I think anybody realizes. The pressure is on for kids nowadays, and quite frankly, it sucks.
My take on Ms. Perfect
We each have to decide what our own individual definitions of "perfect" and "perfection" are, because no two definitions will be the same-- after all, no two people are the same.
My definition of Ms. Perfect? I would describe her as the girl who is not persuaded, threatened, or moved by anyone else. The girl who is 100% herself without apology. The girl who grows up to be the woman that puts out so much of herself and her light and her energy to the world that she leaves it knowing she lived her life to the fullest, and knowing that she touched many, many lives. I think Ms. Perfect is the woman who isn't afraid of the "unmapped territory" that lies within her. The woman who believes in miracles, but also believes in hard work and dedication. Ms. Perfect is the girl who finally realized that it's all the small things in life that make it worth living-- that it's not a man, or an amazing house (or eight for that matter), or being the CEO.
She Makes Her Own Rules.
Ms. Perfect makes her own rules, and lives by them. But most importantly, she's happy.
Happy Monday loves!