Ms. Perfect

Just take a second real quick here with me. Think back to five years ago--what you were doing, who you were friends with, what you were interested in, how you felt about your family. Is that person the same person you are today? The answer is probably no.

Five years ago I was fifteen. FIFTEEN! I remember it was the same year Taylor Swift's Fearless album came out; my mom's friend let me borrow it and told me the song "Fifteen" reminded her of me. I laughed and rolled my eyes. But now when I look back on it or whenever I hear the song, I smile. And it's not because of some old love, but more so because of all the things that have happened since then.

The Impossible Standard

I know it sounds stupid, but when we're all growing up isn't there some kind of fantasy life we hold onto? Something that we're constantly chasing after but may never get? Success, money, love, security, honesty, acceptance... the list goes on and on. And in a perfect world, we'd have it all! That kind of naiveté is the thing I associate most with being fifteen. The "perfect" life with the perfect guy and the perfect kids and the white picket fence (and maybe throw in a house on the Cape...). I dream big, alright?

I can't speak for guys because honestly, in the past five years, my ability to understand the way they work has been at a standstill. But for girls, and I see it in girls younger than me too, there is this idea revolving around perfection. There's the pressure to be perfect-- to date the right guy, to wear the right clothes, to get into the right school and to make the honor roll, to play varsity sports... Again, the list goes on and on.

Time to throw that list out the window.

I'm serious. Take the list you have in your head of who you should be and where your life should be going and get rid of it. The reality is, no matter how hard you try, you can't please everyone. Someone will always be disappointed. And isn't part of today's definition of "perfect" being liked by all? You see, you've already lost.

I have spent so many years trying to figure out who to be and who I should please. I've pondered millions and millions of times how to be perfect. Society has created this community where the ideal is everything. It impacts us, especially teens, more than I think anybody realizes. The pressure is on for kids nowadays, and quite frankly, it sucks.

My take on Ms. Perfect

We each have to decide what our own individual definitions of "perfect" and "perfection" are, because no two definitions will be the same-- after all, no two people are the same.

My definition of Ms. Perfect? I would describe her as the girl who is not persuaded, threatened, or moved by anyone else. The girl who is 100% herself without apology. The girl who grows up to be the woman that puts out so much of herself and her light and her energy to the world that she leaves it knowing she lived her life to the fullest, and knowing that she touched many, many lives. I think Ms. Perfect is the woman who isn't afraid of the "unmapped territory" that lies within her. The woman who believes in miracles, but also believes in hard work and dedication. Ms. Perfect is the girl who finally realized that it's all the small things in life that make it worth living-- that it's not a man, or an amazing house (or eight for that matter), or being the CEO.

She Makes Her Own Rules.

Ms. Perfect makes her own rules, and lives by them. But most importantly, she's happy.

Happy Monday loves!

xoxo

Falling Apart and Into Place

Anyone else feel like today just snuck up on them? I know I've said that I don't mind Mondays, but I can't help but feel like this one came a little too quickly. But, what can you do? I haven't been feeling the best lately, and as a result my diet has kind of gone out the window. Not to mention I discovered this extremely yummy drink that I haven't had just enough of... yet. What started out as an innocent way to trick myself into thinking I was in paradise has become a favorite! Won't even apologize about it.

Now that you know of the less than admirable lifestyle choices I've been making lately (Give me ALL the carbs!), I'm looking at this Monday as a kind of renewal. I've been so discouraged lately reading all my blogs and seeing all these beautiful women that I've decided it's time for me to really start focusing on myself again. 

These past few weeks, I really got bogged down between schoolwork, the crazy weather we've been having, the fact that there's still snow on the ground and it's now MARCH... but I can't blame it all on the weather.

Truth be told, I'm the biggest wimp when I'm tired. And lately I've been feeling exhausted. I'm sure my lack of healthy eating and exercise has had a lot to do with it, but for some reason I wake up tired and by 3pm I'm just about ready for bed. It's been making me miserable.

It's no excuse. I've been bailing on friends, snapping at my parents, and have just been so down on myself lately. It makes me disappointed. I haven't been focusing enough on the "me time" that I cherish so dearly-- the time I take each day to just think and process and breathe. But it just feels like there is no time!

What worries me the most is that I know life just gets harder. I know that there's a whole other world waiting to eat you alive outside of the college bubble. So with that terrifying thought in my mind, I suppose it's time I get used to the idea of being exhausted. Missing out on life to sleep? That doesn't sound like a life at all! And it's the life I've been living for a little over a month now. Depressing, right?

Life's been throwing me a lot of lemons-- a lot of puny, annoying lemons. I've been cracking under the stress, mentally and physically. Those weeks or months when you just feel defeated? That was my February. But it's March, it's time to turn over a new leaf. Spring is (hopefully) on it's way and that means sunshine and warmer weather!

The Real Food for Thought

The thing is, when life gets hard, when every single odd in the world seems to be against you, you can't let it wreck you. I spend a lot of time being afraid of the world, of how easily it could destroy me. But fear is not what this life is meant to be about. This life is meant to be about dreams, hope, love, laughing with friends, enjoying family, and making time for what matters the most. The reality is I haven't been. I haven't yet learned how to just keep swimming when everything feels like it's falling apart.

And want to know what the other thing is? Looking back on the past month, my life isn't falling apart. Actually, all but one or two aspects of my life have rapidly started getting better and better. Isn't it funny that when everything is really going right you feel just as out of your mind as you do when everything is going wrong? Call me crazy, but maybe you have to learn to just keep swimming when everything-- your dreams, and your future-- are just at your fingertips.

Have a great Monday!

xoxo