So, you know how I was bummed on Friday? My poor mood was only made worse by the fact that my flight to Colorado was cancelled, changed, then cancelled again. And now I have to wait until the summer to make it out there. Trust me when I say I'm disappointed. Luckily for me, I have fabulous family here in Massachusetts and they have helped cheer me up tremendously over the weekend.
If there's one thing I've learned in the past week, it's that you can't control everything in life (sigh). I've come to accept this more so this year than ever. When it comes to how other people act and things like the weather, I've found you kind of just have to take a deep breath and roll with it. When life hands you lemons, you really just have to learn to make that lemonade.
Last Monday, after writing my New Year's post, I decided that I really and truly wanted to make 2014 my year. I even made a Pinterest board for inspiration... (follow it here!) As I was pinning pin upon pin, I realized just how many of my choices in life were driven by fear. The decision to not say how I'm feeling, to not go to that gym class because I'm terrified of embarrassing myself, to not take that hard class with that mean professor for fear that it'll tear me apart.
Starting this blog was an absolutely terrifying experience. When I saw that even twenty people read my very first post about my trip to Europe, I teared up. And I felt so relieved. The part of me that always cared what people thought, the part of me that worried about those who would think, "Why did she start a blog? What could she have to say?", has slowly (and I mean slowly...) faded away-- post by post.
A few things have happened in my life that have made me feel like an unbelievably weak human being. The first two years of college were, in all honesty, horrible. My junior year is proving to be much different. I'm finally at a place where I'm not wasting my time on people who could care less about me, I'm not trying to nurse friendships that don't stand a chance, and I'm making my happiness my top priority.
When friends come to me for advice, almost always I can be quoted saying, "You're in your twenties, your life is just beginning. Do what you want to do and let everything else figure itself out." The problem with being in your twenties is that you second guess every move you make though, isn't it?
I'm just so sick of questioning myself. I love this quote about not requiring validation from anyone. Everyone is always telling me, "Enjoy your twenties, they'll fly by!" And after years of wishing year upon year away, I suppose it's time to take their advice. As depressing as it sounds, I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't feel like the weakest link. Nowadays, I've never been more confident in who I am and who I want to be. (And I can't tell you enough that when you start believing in yourself, everything else really does just fall into place!)
"Sky above me. Earth below me. Fire within me."
Growing up is hard. Being a teen is hard. High school, college, balancing friendships and relationships, good grief. Sometimes it's the worst! But you've got to dress yourself every day in strength. Designer jeans, that cashmere sweater from J. Crew, and Tory Burch riding boots might make for a great outfit, but it all means nothing if the woman who's wearing them isn't beautiful and strong from the inside out.