how to be happy with yourself.

The first year and a half of my twenties has probably been one of the more difficult times in my life. When you're in college, the stakes are high, the competition is higher, and all at the same time, you're tasked with trying to define who you want to be. I remember being 15 and thinking that by 21 I'd have it all figured out. I'd have graduated college, found a job, fallen in love with not just someone, but with myself and my life too. Two and a third of those things have happened, but like any twenty something would probably find, learning to love and be happy with yourself is one of the hardest things to do.

We live in a world where social media makes it so damn easy to compare. You can compare yourself to your peer who just got into a fancy Ivy League grad school; you can compare yourself to your classmate who has three job offers coming their way; you can compare yourself to the lucky bastard who's brave enough to go travel the world and defy societal pressure to get your shit together immediately following college. But, as I've known for some time, comparing yourself to others gets you nowhere. You can really only compare yourself to who you were a day ago or a month ago or a year ago-- and try to stay sane.

Which brings me to my three points. There are three things I try to remind myself when I'm having a "my god you suck at everything and anything" day. And trust me, they happen often!

how to be happy with yourself.

1. The only person you should ever compare yourself to, is you.

Like I said above, the only way to see how far you've come in your life is to look back on who you were in the past. Who were you before you went to college? Before you got your heart broken? Before your life turned upside down and you had no idea how to handle it? Recognize that there is no short cut to happiness. Like any relationship, you have to work for your happiness and nurture it. Do what makes you smile, spend time with who makes you laugh, and learn to be comfortable with who you are.

2. Don't sabotage yourself, be your own best friend.

I haven't met a girl who hasn't muttered the words, "I look like shit." And it's a fact of life. There will indeed be some days that you just look like shit, but I also strongly believe that how you feel about your appearance is a direct reflection of how you're feeling internally. Our minds are easy to manipulate, and they're not always as tough as we give them credit for. They're not immune to negative thoughts about your surroundings, your friends, your family, etc., and they're not immune to negative thoughts about yourself. Actually, most women tend to find they're privy to negative thoughts about themselves. Mistakes happen for everyone. Off days happen for everyone. One of the quickest ways to sabotage yourself emotionally is to ignore your emotions. You wouldn't ignore your best friend if she called you up upset about something, so don't ignore yourself either. Give yourself time to feel and honor your emotions, but don't let them control you. Counter negative thoughts with positive energy.

3. If you wouldn't say it to someone else, don't say it to yourself.

Have you seen this ad yet? You can watch it below, but it really hit home with me. I know for a fact that there are few people sassier than a frustrated or angry woman, but what scared me the most about this ad is that the things we would never say to another person we feel completely comfortable saying to ourselves. It's hard to look in the mirror every day and tell yourself you're beautiful when all you see is a pimple the size of Mount Everest forming on your chin or the slightest muffin top. We all have things we don't like about ourselves, but at the end of the day, we've only got ourselves. Our goal in life should be to empower who we are as individuals and as women, not to tear ourselves down because of an unattainable image we hold ourselves to. You don't have to look like the girls in magazines; not even the girls in magazines look like the girls in magazines! Think kind thoughts. If you wouldn't say it to somebody you love or even a perfect stranger, then don't say it to yourself.

This one's a good one too. Gotta love Dove.

YOU'RE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL OK?!

xo

Writing An Untold Story

I knew from an early age that what I should be doing would involve writing in some way or another. I loved reading as a kid, I loved the fairytales, and I remember sitting at my old computer in my basement attempting to write my own stories and poems. Obviously, all of them never really went anywhere serious. But they did end up going everywhere in my life. When I started keeping journals for example. Doodles, thoughts, poems, outlines for stories I wanted to write someday. They're all there, a little bit of my imagination and fantasies mixed in with my reality. In school, writing became a strong point for me. In college, I kept writing little tidbits on my phone here and there. And when I truly felt like I was about to explode, I started this blog. (For funsies, check out my first post!)

To me, writing is a go-to for processing emotions and life and my passions. It's undoubtedly my biggest passion (followed closely by out-of-my-price-range clothing), and I find it so sad that one of the things I love most is one of the things that is so overlooked nowadays. Why write if you can't fit it into 140 characters?

7 Tips for Dealing with Anxiety

Before coming to college, I definitely thought it was going to be easier than say, how it appeared to be in Legally Blonde. Don't get me wrong, LOVE that movie. It just set me up with unrealistic expectations. Elle gets into Harvard Law with some studying, but mostly by a miracle, and has some hardships at first, and then again, by some miracle discovers that she was meant to be a lawyer.

College has been far from amazing for me. I've either been on one extreme side of the spectrum for my entire college career-- caring too much, or, caring too little. The struggle has been with me since the first day of freshman year. I didn't try to full on tackle the issue until the start of junior year.

I know that the second to last full week of classes is one of the hardest weeks of each semester, and I've never had to leave a class in order to avoid having a full-blown anxiety attack-- until a few weeks ago.

Remembering Audrey

Audrey Hepburn has been one of my favorite actresses for a very long time. I didn't see Breakfast at Tiffany's until my junior year of high school, and ever since I've been an avid fan. I know there are far more devoted Audrey fans out there, but her biography is on my summer reading list. And I love, love, love every quote I come across by her. She was an amazing, philanthropic woman who's life deserves to be celebrated.

Her 85th birthday would have been yesterday had she not been taken from us too soon, and I firmly believe that us ladies can take away a lot from her. Audrey was a lady who was always, always, always willing to give. I don't know about all of you, but I feel like it something not many people are capable of or want to do anymore. Giving back isn't as much of a priority as it used to be. Sad, isn't it?

Get inspired with these quotes from Audrey herself!

A Switzerland Moment

I've had those moments. Those moments where you look at the people who care for and love you, the nature that welcomes you into its world with open arms, the summer breeze that blows in off the ocean right as the sun sets. I've been lucky enough to travel and to feed my constant craving for the new. I am incessantly chasing after the next adventure or chapter of my life-- so much so that I often don't appreciate what I've seen or felt until after the moment has passed.

There's something to be said for traveling. Experiencing a new place with new people is one of the only things in this world that reminds us of just how lucky we are to be alive. 

That aspect of travel is something that we love, it's the reason we keep embarking on new adventures, and yet, you'd think by now we would have learned to make it a part of our daily lives. I live in a beautiful place, one of the greenest states in America. I am so blessed for having grown up here, and I always forget just how gorgeous it is until I've climbed up a mountain and can look down on just what an amazing place it is. It's something that goes beyond the scenery though, it's the people too. But get this, I spend the majority of my days wishing I could be somewhere else.

Isn't that sad? I don't blame myself too much for it. If there's one thing I've noticed in people it's the unwavering feeling that there's always something better out there. But I think we could all benefit from acting like where we are, even if it's where we don't want to be, is some place worth loving.

I remember waking up in Switzerland this past summer. We'd stayed in a little ski lodge outside of Lucerne, nestled right in the Swiss Alps. The windows didn't have screens, you could push them right open and the crisp mountain air would fill the room. And the view out my window is one that has been engraved in my mind since that first glance. It was one of those moments that pictures couldn't do justice. It wasn't the unbelievable beauty of the mountain towering over me that made it so special, it was how looking at that mountain made me feel. I remember thinking how awesome it was that some random little place in Switzerland could hold so much natural beauty, and I've been to a lot of tropical locations, but still I've never seen water as blue as that of Lake Lucerne.

When I consciously took a moment to acknowledge the beauty surrounding me, to acknowledge how lucky I was to be there, in that moment, I felt so extremely happy to be alive. A lot of us experience this when we travel, and I'm sure some of it is the excitement that comes with travel. But I suspect there's just as much beauty surrounding me now as there was when I was in Switzerland. Between work and school and everyday normal life, it must just be something I have to look a little harder for. But it must be there.

This week I promised myself that I would take a chance every day to recognize why I'm thankful to be where I am today. Every time I've truly felt that this life is too good to be true I've been in the presence of nature. Or with my family out to dinner. Or with my friends on a summer night, huddled around the campfire, laughing and reminiscing beneath a starry sky.

All the things that surround us are so easily overlooked, but they're the things that make us who we are. The things we appreciate define us as humans. What if we appreciated every single little moment that passed us by to its full effect? What if every moment were like that moment in Switzerland?

Granted, not every day will be great. But there's beauty in that. It's the bad moments that make even the smallest good moments seem great. Focus on the good moments, focus on what surrounds you. Make one good moment a day your own Switzerland moment, and I guarantee you'll be happier for it.

1/2/3

Have a great Monday!

xoxo

Good Karma

I'm not the biggest believer in karma. Although as of this past week I've been trying really hard to maintain more of a positive attitude (which is fairly difficult with only three weeks left of classes and multiple professors who are significant pains in my butt). It's hard to believe junior year is finishing up so quickly... I keep thinking this time next year I'll be about a month away from graduating.

Anyways, what I've been finding as of late is that for all the annoying little things I've been dealing with all semester, maintaining a positive attitude is key in making sure I don't get overwhelmed by it all. Maybe the universe really does throw back at you what you put out.

Think Good Thoughts

Challenge yourself.

If there's anyone who knows how difficult it is to be positive all the time, it's me. But just give it a try and see what you find! Do you believe in karma?

xoxo

Five Things

Want to know how awkward it is to stalk yourself on Facebook? Okay, I know we all do it... but I actually had a purpose this time. Looking for selfies. You'll know why in a bit. Anyways, I've been seeing people in my news feed posting to a page called Gratitude Journal. I'd join it but you have to post three things a day, and most people do it first thing in the morning, but I never go on Facebook in the morning. I tend to try and remind myself what I'm most grateful for each night before I go to bed. 

But anyways, lately I've been feeling kind of grateful for myself. But before you call me conceited, hear me out! 

It takes a lot to be a strong person, and while I have my weaknesses I think I am an inherently strong-willed girl. Mentally I'm in a completely different place than I've ever been, but I still have days where I just get so down on myself. And I find myself consciously reminding myself of how good a person I am-- something I think everybody needs to do. You can't be the best version of yourself at any given time without believing you're the best you you can be... for now, anyways.

So, I thought for today's post I'd write five things I like about myself. You should grab a journal and do it too! Sometimes the only person who can convince you of just how amazing you are is yourself.

#loveyourselfie

1. I'm Loyal.

I'm so fiercely loyal to my friends and my family (and my dog) and my beliefs that sometimes I think it's a bad thing. Actually, it has proven to be a bad thing a few times in the past... especially when someone turns out to be someone completely different than who you thought they were. Thankfully it doesn't happen often, but it takes a lot of patience for someone to be loyal. I mean, all the buttons people you love can push can get to be a lot, but at the end of the day I'd do anything for my friends and family. They're everything to me.

2. I'm Hard-working.

Since I was 15 I've held down a job (or two, or three...). And I've been a full-time student. And now I have an internship on top of all of that. I may be too busy for my own good, but I love it. It keeps me going and keeps me motivated when it comes to making sure I set myself up for success.

3. I'm a Dreamer.

Literally last night when I was going to bed, I told myself to dream of Paris. And guess what! I did. Then I woke up fully believing I was going to move there and learn French after working for a couple years following graduation. Wouldn't that be lovely? La Vie en Rose may or may not be on repeat all day today... But hey, dreams keep me going.

4. I'm a family gal.

Sometimes I think it's weird because one of my favorite people to hang out with is my mom. Sunday nights are my favorite because of our family dinners with our neighbors, and the holidays are the best in my book. And while my family does tend to drive me a little crazy at times (don't they all?!), there's nothing better than a family vacation.

5. I'm Confident. (#myrealselfie)

I think this comes with age, but I'm lucky because despite all my insecurities I've always considered myself to be an overall confident person. A lot of people tell me I'm intimidating which I find funny because 98% of the time I'm doing something completely illogical. But I've found that when you believe in yourself and who you are, good things come your way. Things that are meant for you, people you're meant to stumble upon, memories you're meant to make, and I find something unbelievably surreal in that.

Gotta say, I thought a "sweat pants, hair-tied (except for not in this one), chilling with no make up (and glasses) on" look would be far more intimidating to share with the world. Be proud of who you are, imperfections and all.

xoxo, 

Em

Sundays in Bed

Sadness. The last Sunday before school starts up again. While I'll be spending the day catching up on all the work I chose not to do over the past week, you're probably heading out to a yummy brunch or doing something far more fun than homework. Lucky you! In my defense though, I spent the fair majority of my break running around between jobs and errands and occasional social outings. Such is my life, but that's the way I like it! 

The goal for today though is to get all my stuff done by early afternoon, head to work at 4 until 7 and then come home, have some dinner, hop into bed and pop in a movie. Or read... I've been really stinking at that resolution. And I even bought Mindy Kaling's book that I've been dying to read. I'll probably do that instead. But if you don't  have a super hilarious and witty book to read prior to hitting the hay, or if you're just laying around bored all day, then I've got you covered!

We Live and Breathe Words

1. Daylight savings time was last night/today/it happened alright?! I don't know about you all, but I cherish every hour of sleep I can get, so coping with losing an hour (even if it means one more hour of daylight!) is vital for my making it through this week.

2. Anybody else as awkward of a flirt as I am? Apparently the only time I'm remotely good at it is when I've had a couple so... without further ado, Cosmo's tips on how to be the "flirtiest" of the flirts. (Fair warning: they're all extremely forward.)

3. March Style Tips from LC!

4. Have you been hating on your friends for all their selfies lately? Stop now, because #selfies are back in.

5. My friend shared this on Facebook and I love it! A strong woman is often mistaken for a b****. It's time for that to stop, no?

6. I just recently discovered The Miss Information and it's super amazing! Definitely check it out, and take their tips on maintaining your style and your budget.

7. I've always wished that I lived in the 1920s. More specifically in England. If you watch Downton Abbey, then you know just exactly where I'd like to be (wishing I was Mary... minus the whole husband dying thing.) But alas, apparently I belong in imperial China. So Mulan's cool too I guess. What time period do you belong in?

8. Nothing quite like a Buzzfeed recap of Jennifer Lawrence being awesome to lift a girl's mood. #shesmyhero

9. I died reading this because every. single. one. is true. Every 20 something with even a semblance of a social life has friends who make these exits every Saturday night.

10. This post from Maxie McCoy (love her!) put into words perfectly everything I've been feeling for quite some time now. It's okay to stay at your upper limit.

A Day to Plan A Lot and Do Nothing

Enjoy today, and rest up! Or if it's the first day of your spring break, drink up and have some fun! You deserve it.

1/2/3

xoxo

Weekly Wonders

Wow. What a week! On Monday, I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through. I was stressed about anything and everything, and classes hadn't even really started yet! Today, however, I would just like to point out that I kicked this week's behind. And it feels so good. I feel like I can do anything I set my mind to, so exciting :)

I actually like my classes. A few of them I borderline love already. My long three hour class on Thursdays? My hilarious professor made it so much easier to sit through. Those professors you know you're just going to like? I have a few this semester, thank goodness.

Needless to say, it's been one heck of a week. I was presented an opportunity I'm so excited about, and life is just pretty great right now.

Now, a few of my favorite things...

Favorite Hint of Summer

(via Because I'm Addicted)

Greatest Inspiration

(via Half Asleep Studio)

Cozy Up in Lilly

(via Garnet Hill)

Caffeinated Craze

(via The Pretty Blog)

Favorite Throwback

(via The Nifty Fifties)

Good as Gold

(via Lauren Conrad)

Laughable Truth

(via Pinterest)

Happiness Day to Day

(via Pinterest)

Have a fantastic weekend! And check in for two posts this Saturday and Sunday that I'm very excited about! As always, make good choices and stay classy (but always sassy). Gosh that was corny.

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: Dress Yourself in Strength

So, you know how I was bummed on Friday? My poor mood was only made worse by the fact that my flight to Colorado was cancelled, changed, then cancelled again. And now I have to wait until the summer to make it out there. Trust me when I say I'm disappointed. Luckily for me, I have fabulous family here in Massachusetts and they have helped cheer me up tremendously over the weekend.

If there's one thing I've learned in the past week, it's that you can't control everything in life (sigh). I've come to accept this more so this year than ever. When it comes to how other people act and things like the weather, I've found you kind of just have to take a deep breath and roll with it. When life hands you lemons, you really just have to learn to make that lemonade.

Last Monday, after writing my New Year's post, I decided that I really and truly wanted to make 2014 my year. I even made a Pinterest board for inspiration... (follow it here!) As I was pinning pin upon pin, I realized just how many of my choices in life were driven by fear. The decision to not say how I'm feeling, to not go to that gym class because I'm terrified of embarrassing myself, to not take that hard class with that mean professor for fear that it'll tear me apart. 

Starting this blog was an absolutely terrifying experience. When I saw that even twenty people read my very first post about my trip to Europe, I teared up. And I felt so relieved. The part of me that always cared what people thought, the part of me that worried about those who would think, "Why did she start a blog? What could she have to say?", has slowly (and I mean slowly...) faded away-- post by post.

A few things have happened in my life that have made me feel like an unbelievably weak human being. The first two years of college were, in all honesty, horrible. My junior year is proving to be much different. I'm finally at a place where I'm not wasting my time on people who could care less about me, I'm not trying to nurse friendships that don't stand a chance, and I'm making my happiness my top priority.

When friends come to me for advice, almost always I can be quoted saying, "You're in your twenties, your life is just beginning. Do what you want to do and let everything else figure itself out." The problem with being in your twenties is that you second guess every move you make though, isn't it?

I'm just so sick of questioning myself. I love this quote about not requiring validation from anyone. Everyone is always telling me, "Enjoy your twenties, they'll fly by!" And after years of wishing year upon year away, I suppose it's time to take their advice. As depressing as it sounds, I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't feel like the weakest link. Nowadays, I've never been more confident in who I am and who I want to be. (And I can't tell you enough that when you start believing in yourself, everything else really does just fall into place!)

"Sky above me. Earth below me. Fire within me."

Growing up is hard. Being a teen is hard. High school, college, balancing friendships and relationships, good grief. Sometimes it's the worst! But you've got to dress yourself every day in strength. Designer jeans, that cashmere sweater from J. Crew, and Tory Burch riding boots might make for a great outfit, but it all means nothing if the woman who's wearing them isn't beautiful and strong from the inside out.

Go kick some butt this week ladies. Happy Monday!

xoxo

(ps. I'd love if you'd follow Class and Sass on Facebook and Twitter to stay updated!)