Making the Cut

We all reach a point in our lives where we're just sick of the bulls***. We're sick of fake smiling at people we don't like, sick of holding onto friendships that don't serve us in a positive way, sick of trying to be somebody we're not to please those around us. Sick of feeling like we're stuck in this never-ending bubble of scrutiny from every which way. In case you haven't gathered this, I kind of learned a lot of life lessons this summer, so buckle up-- because they're all starting to really hit me.

I feel like I've always been the girl with a wide range of friends. I could hang out with different "groups" in high school and get along fine, but it wasn't until a few years ago that I really found my inner circle. I'm a firm believer in the idea that every girl needs a close, tight-knit group of friends.

Growing up, I had a lot of great friendships that came and went-- some that even still linger. But when life gets busy, and your best friends move to new cities, and they find new friends to have amazing adventures with, it gets hard to stay in touch. I think a lot of us have a really hard time grasping this, the idea that it's okay to move on. Some friendships aren't meant to last forever, and there comes a point where you're just not willing to give up some precious free time for people who ultimately don't mean that much to you. You were friendly acquaintances once upon a time, but now you want to spend your weekends with the girls who have been with you through it all. To hell and back. And then back again.

 The majority of people I love the most I speak to every day--partially because I live with two of them, partially because I like to annoy a select few of them with random texts consisting of solely emojis, and partially because a girl's best friends aren't going to leave her alone ever (even when you sometimes maybe want them to!) But then I also have the best friends I talk to once in a while, but when we're together everything is the same.

It's these friendships that I value the most. The girls who have made the cut. A lot of us spend a fair majority of high school (and college, even) trying to figure out where we belong. Who will be the ones holding your hair back and letting you cry over everything and anything? Who will be the ones coming into your room on Sunday morning to go over the night before? Who will be the ones standing next to you on your wedding day? Who will be the ones that the boy who broke your heart is down right terrified of?

It's okay to make the cut. It's healthy for people to move on as they grow older. Every friendship we've ever had has taught us something special, and that's the point of some friendships. You acknowledge what this person taught you, and you go on with your life. But the girls who made the cut? There's a good chance that once they've made it, they'll stay there. Forever. And that's all that really matters in the end. We all know who said our best friends are our real soul mates, right?

xo

One Little Memory

I think the hardest thing about growing up and moving on is most definitely leaving home. By the time kids are heading to college, most of them are, in fact, ready to leave home and start out on a new adventure. I was not one of those kids.

In all honesty, when I moved out of my house at the start of last month I was extremely nervous. I had lived away from home before, but in a dorm with a meal plan and heat/hot water that I didn't have to pay for. And even though I still go home multiple times a week, mostly due to the fact that I have become a pro food moocher-offer, sometimes I still get nostalgic thinking about my childhood home.

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in my bedroom in my new place listening to one of the biggest storms of the summer roll out of town. When I was a kid I used to be terrified of thunder storms, now I find them calming (unless I'm driving in them, then not so much.) Whenever it rained my mom would always sit in her chair and read a book, or if my nana was up then you could always find her sitting in our living room, a book on her lap but her face turned toward the window, watching the raindrops fall. It's these kind of little memories that made leaving home hard.

 If I wasn't always there, would I miss them all?

Let It Go

Surprise! This post is not actually about Frozen, so if you were rolling your eyes you can stop now. Monday I wrote about how I'm trying to make this year my year, but there's one specific thing I always find holds me back from recognizing just how lucky I am. I fret over such silly things. Really, I do. Over friends, over guys, my family, school, and so on and so forth. None of these things when taken in a general context should be considered silly, but the tiny, mediocre, little things that come with them? You could call a fair majority of them silly or dumb or whatever.

Truth be told, I'm pretty upset/annoyed/mad right now. I saw something on a certain social media site that made me upset, and in true Emily fashion, now I'm here... writing about it. I should have known I was a writer when all I'd do when I was mad as a kid (aside from scream) was go up to my room and jot down angry poems and/or not-so-impressive song lyrics about whoever had done me wrong this time around.

International Women's Day Insta Love

So I don't know how many of you caught on to yesterday being International Women's Day but if you're on Instagram, then you probably were well aware. BUT, if you weren't aware, don't even worry about it! I've rounded up some favorites from all the insta love #IWD received yesterday. This is the first year I've really been aware of the day (sad since it's been a thing since 1910...), and it sparked this kind of energy in me that just had me running around all day long. What's even cooler? All of it is thanks to social media, which, if you're a social media nerd/lover/addict like me (you know you are!!), is SO awesome!

Random ramble: There are so many awesome things that I have to say about social media in general, but my absolute favorite part of the entire social media world is how amazing it is at connecting people from all over. I don't know why it fascinates me so much, or why talking about it makes me so excited... but it does and I love it and I officially love International Women's Day because of it.

I'm a girl who loves quotes, this is my kind of holiday...

#instalove

Yours truly, Class and Sass

Levo League

Happy International Women's Day #IWD. Thinking about all the amazing women in my life who made#AwardSeason so meaningful and memorable...#Mother #Daughter #Love

Lupita Nyong'o

The newly launched Porter Magazine was killing it with all their amazing quotes yesterday. They are becoming one of my favorite Instagram accounts very quickly.

Rent the Runway

Grace Atwood

Baublebar

A strong woman, in her essence, is a gift to the world.

Don't let anyone push you around ladies. Being a woman is hard, and if you ask me, we don't get enough credit! If you've been needing a reminder of how great you are, this is it. Now go kick some ass.

xoxo, 

Emily

Actions Speak Louder than Words

When I'm getting ready to write these posts, I often turn to the quotes page on Pinterest. If I'm being honest, as of late I've been lacking some serious inspiration when it comes to writing. I'm not sure why but I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. I think I'm longing so much for spring that it's become this constant gray cloud hanging over my head.

I've also been questioning my actions more lately, more so than I usually do. And I've kind of been finding, less is more. Say what you need to say, if it really needs to be said, and if it's going to help you to feel better. But if it's not going to help you to feel better or resolve a problem, then must you really say it?

In high school, and even in the past few years, I've been really good at speaking my mind. I've made a huge effort to be honest with myself, my family, and my friends.

Lately though, I've been thinking. What if there's a point where honesty is no longer beneficial? I know it all depends on the situation. Not every case is the same. The older I've gotten though, the more I've found that actions really do speak louder than words.

People pick up on hints. People pick up on when you're ready to move on. I think we've all had friendships, relationships, and even jobs that have run their course. But when you're done, when you've reached your limit? You don't just scream out loud, "I'm done! I quit! I'm moving on!" Or at least you should try your hardest not to. (Granted, it's completely acceptable to go home and jam out to this song #noshame) 

There's no point in having a huge argument over nothing and ending a friendship that could have ended gracefully in such a sour manner. There's no point in hurting someone who you once loved simply because that would make ending a broken relationship much easier. There's actually no point in dramatically quitting the job you absolutely hate (recommendations, hello?!).

Make your exit with grace. Carry yourself with grace. If you do this, they'll never have anything bad to say about you. Or if they do, it will only reflect poorly on them-- not you.

I've also found as I've grown older that a lot of people will doubt you. Not as much as you doubt yourself of course, but they'll doubt you nonetheless. When you're younger, you feel like you have to make it known to everyone who questions you just what you think of them and just how wrong they are about you. Don't waste your breath. They're doubting you for a very specific reason--and that's because they doubt themselves ten times more than they doubt you.

The best way to show these people up is to act. Do not raise your voice, do not say things you will regret. Smile and laugh, act as if your life is amazing (even if it isn't). Self-curation is completely 100% appropriate. Fake it until you make it, right? Even if you do find yourself in doubt, show yourself and prove to yourself that whatever it is you wish to do, you can do. Don't make promises, because sometimes you will fail. But everything will come full circle. Fool your doubters into thinking they were wrong. And in doing so, you might just fool yourself in the process.

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: The Most Important Relationship You'll Ever Be In

Photo via Inslee

I will quote Carrie Bradshaw until the day I die. In all honesty, I think she's one of the smartest people on the planet. Fictional character though she may be, she had a ton of amazing advice for girls the world over!

"The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."

Now I've never had a serious relationship. What I've learned about guys has come from very short "flings" and one major crush. I've experienced immense heartbreak, just not at the hand of a guy (yet, anyways.) Truthfully, I think half the reason I've never been able to commit to someone is because I've spent so much time learning to love myself first.

A lot of "grown-ups" would say this is a good thing, that you have to love yourself first before you can fully commit to anyone. And I think they're right, but I also think that you have to go through good and bad relationships to learn more about yourself. I suppose that's where I fall short.

Love You, For You

It's kind of a funny thing because all my friends who are in relationships will turn to me for advice on what to do when they're having issues with their significant other. I have no idea why. I'm the most emotionally reserved person I know, I could literally go years without telling someone what's really on my mind. As a matter of fact, I have. And it sucked. I pride myself on knowing myself so well and on having taken the time to learn how to love myself, but in the process I made a lot of people my punching bags.

I think because I spent so much time focusing on myself I really missed some opportunities for good relationships. I'm extremely good at being selfish, to the point of it being my major downfall. But this is where I've looked to my friends. The girls who have been able to give themselves to someone completely; the girls who have put their hearts on what I would refer to as the chopping block.

They're the bravest girls I know.

A lot of my girlfriends have gone down many different paths. Some have chosen to weather the storm and work for their long-distance relationship, for others it hasn't worked out so well. Some have had their hearts broken on roller coaster romances that have lasted for years and years, and others are just finally settling into what looks like a promising relationship. I admire them. I see their strengths and how they've grown as they've come to recognize themselves as not an "I", but a "we." But being on the outside looking in has it's faults too.

While these girls are some of the most selfless people I know, selflessness can be both a blessing and a curse. I think a lot of people can lose themselves in their relationship. Men and women alike! And I'm not saying that any of my friends have. At least not from what I've noticed. But what worries me, is that if I were to enter into a relationship, if "I" were to become a "we", who would I be anymore?

I've heard of multiple girls that are my age who have become so lost in the process of looking for someone to make them happy. Their loneliness guides them to men who have no idea who they actually are, or worse, to men who just... don't care. There's nothing people fear more than being lonely. People tend to confuse relationships with completion rather than companionship.

The only relationship that's going to complete you though, is the relationship you have with yourself. I've seen girls say, "Well my boyfriend really likes this dress so I'm going to wear this one instead." Wear whatever freaking dress you want! It's great that you want to impress your boyfriend, but if you don't feel your 100% absolute best in the dress that he loves, then is it really the perfect fit?

It's so easy-- so so easy, to let the idea of love fuel the need to fill whatever void it is that your heart is nursing. But the idea of love isn't going to be the thing that completes you. Falling in love with the perfect man isn't going to be the thing that completes you. Falling in love with yourself though? Loving every single aspect of yourself? Flaws and all, without apology? That's going to be the thing that makes you whole in the end. 

The relationship you have with yourself is the hardest one you'll ever have, but it's also the most rewarding. Pushing yourself to expand your horizons, challenge your limits, and question your beliefs is what builds character. The fact that you get so incredibly worked up over sports events, or that you can't go to bed without the kitchen clean is what makes you you. And somebody is going to love those aspects of you one day SO much they won't know what to do with themselves. But they're never going to be able to love you as you are, if you don't love yourself first.

Love yourself. Be yourself. Challenge yourself. And when all else fails, imagine yourself as Blair. Because really, what girl loves herself more than fabulous Blair Waldorf?

xoxo

Weekly Wonders: Favorite TV Couples

First things first. Happy Valentine's Day lovelies! I hope your day is filled with love and warmth and happiness! And not too much snow... But we won't think about that right now.

Anyways, we all have our favorite television shows, right? Some we are borderline (if not completely...) obsessed with. For me, my favorite shows are all based around stories with one thing in common. A love story.

Blair and Chuck (duh), Rachel and Ross (again, duh), Mindy and Danny. The list goes on and on. I watch a lot of TV.

The point is, the reason I love shows with a romantic aspect to them is because the plot lines these love stories follow are the most whimsical, magical, extraordinary things. Call me a fool, but I think we all deserve that kind of love!

All You Need is Love

Ross & Rachel, Friends

Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big, Sex and the City

Luke & Lorelai, Gilmore Girls

(Note: I'm still bitter about the way this show ended.)

Danny and Mindy, The Mindy Project

Mary and Francis, Reign

Mary and Bash, Reign

I couldn't choose! This show's too good! Completely and totally historically inaccurate but amazing nonetheless.

Aria & Ezra, Pretty Little Liars

I'm still holding out hope. #judgeme

And my all time favorite...

Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl

Don't judge me for my extremely poor taste in television. I love all of these shows dearly, and in my defense I developed an obsession for most of them at like, 14 years old. If you're celebrating today with a special someone, have a blast! My best friend and I will be watching movies, snacking on cookies, and drinking some wine. Which sounds just perfect to me!

Happy Valentine's Day!

xoxo

Girl's Night In: Valentine's Day Edition

So I've never exactly been one for Valentine's Day. Maybe it's because I've never been completely and totally in love with someone, but even then it seems a little bit overrated. I try to avoid hating on things here, but in all honesty to me it's kind of just an over-commercialized holiday. Call me a scrooge, I don't care!

You know how in high school and middle school everyone used to refer to Valentine's Day as Singles-Awareness Day? I start to laugh when I think back on it. I think I've received one Valentine's Day gift from a boy in my life, and it was my sixth grade boyfriend. I treasured that cute little teddy bear for the whole time we "dated". Gotta love middle school, right?

My friends and I are a bit older now, we have a bit more experience, and some of us are in love. So there's hope! Others of us are a bit jaded. Blame it on our twenties. I like to think of Valentine's Day as a day to be thankful for all the love surrounding me.

This year, my best friend and I are having our own little Valentine's Day celebration. Valentine's Day also just happens to fall on a Friday, so count on wine, cute movies, and cookies being involved. It's not like we have anyone to impress! If you're spending Valentine's Day with your closest girlfriends this year, take a few of these ideas to make it one fun night! (Note: Avoid focusing on the whole "you're single" aspect of everything.)

Single's Awareness Day? No Way!

Some girls may have boyfriends, but we have these cookies... So who's the real winner here?

Take a cue from Lauren Conrad and set up a cute plate set, complete with DIY sequin heart hair clips!

Strawberries on a stick paired with chocolate fondue? Again, who's the real winner here?

Hot chocolate tends to be a staple for me and my best friend in the winter time, so why not give this pink velvet hot chocolate recipe a try?

Or if you're looking for a little something stronger... this wine cocktail is sure to do the trick!

All that's left is to pop in a corny 80s movie and chat away the night! Didn't Carrie Bradshaw say our girlfriends are our real soul mates anyway?

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: A Friend is Like a Good Bra

I've been pondering something lately. When you're little, your family is your everything. They're your built-in support system, the people you can always turn to, the ones who are always going to love you no matter what. In light of some things that have happened recently in my life and in my friends' lives, my eyes have been so completely opened to just how important friendships are in life.

The thing about strangers is that they don't have to choose to get to know you. They don't have to like you, pretend to like you, care about you; they don't have to do anything. I'm a big believer in the idea that nothing really happens by chance, and that people stumble upon certain people for certain reasons. Friends are the family you choose, but they're also the people who choose you as their family. And I never really thought about it that way.

As the years pass us by, it becomes more clear to me and my friends just who'll be sticking around. I can list a handful of girls right off the bat that I'd call the instant someone broke my heart, and I know they'd show up at my door, bottle of wine in hand (or two), within an hour. Your best friends are the ones who know almost every single thing you've ever worried about. Whether it be a boy or what skirt you're going to wear out. They just know.

 They know how you'll react to specific information, what situations make you nervous, what people they need to keep you away from, and they know the things that make you smile (cupcakes), laugh (yoga cats), cry (The Notebook), and so on and so forth. When you're happy, they're happy for you; when you're hurting, they're hurting for you.

When we all went to college, I remember being worried that our being separated was going to be the end of it all. Years worth of friendship all gone out the window, and I don't really know why I felt that way. Because so quickly I figured out that growing apart wasn't even an option. Some of my closest friends and I are miles and miles apart, and yet when we're home and together again for the holidays it's like nothing has changed. If you ask me, distance is the test of true friendship. Earlier this week I was going through something, and one of my friends in New York texted me just to say "Hey, I'm thinking of you and I'm so lucky to have you in my life!" Didn't even know what was going on with me, honestly we probably hadn't talked in the past two weeks before that either. But that was the amazing thing about it. I swear there's something in the universe that keeps us all connected somehow. And thank God for whatever it is!

They say, "A friend is like a good bra. Hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, makes you feel better, and is always close to your heart." It's a funny line, right? But it's also so true. It's taken me twenty years to find my real, going to be around forever friends. I suspect a few more are to come along the way, but if they don't that's fine too. I've kind of got my hands full already... (kidding, but not really.) The thing that gets hard about friendships when you're older is that they're work. Real work. You'll fight with them, laugh with them, and do some of the dumbest things with them.

For those of us without sisters, your girlfriends are your sisters. Especially nowadays, I'm so thankful for that. They keep me sane, and they tell the truth... even if it hurts. That's the measure of true friends, they'll help to make you the best you you can be. Keep them close, always.

xoxo

Scare the World

I've kind of been on a Tumblr hiatus since school started up again on Monday. So basically I've been going through withdrawals. Last night, as I was scrolling through my dashboard, I came across this quote that just hit me.

"Scare the world: Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth." 

(via I Wrote This For You)

Truth be told, I had a completely different post planned for today. I worried that doing another "inspirational" post (like this one from Monday...) would be a little bit too much inspiration for the week. And then later on last night, I was reading through my daily blog reads and came across this post from Carly at The College Prepster. That was when the writer side of me really took over and I knew I had to do a post along the lines of being real and being true to who you are and the person you want to be.

I don't exactly know why, but this year I've started to really think. I've started to think about my values, learn who to trust, and discover  the friends who will be there forever. Maybe it's the fact that I finally entered my twenties, or the fact that I graduate college in a mere three semesters. Regardless, it's made me question everything I want from life more than ever. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized that when it comes down to it I don't know anything. About life, about love or friendship, you name it-- I have yet to learn it.

This isn't to say I don't know how to love or to be a good friend. I do. A part of me that I've come to know extremely well is the part of me that feels everything and anything. For the longest time, it was something I hated about myself. Why couldn't I just not care? Why couldn't I just turn away from the people who didn't approve of me or didn't like me? Why did I have to try and make them accept me?

I spent almost all of high school dismissing how I was feeling as immature or weird. When you're young, gaining the approval of your peers seems like everything. The best thing I've learned in the past two and a half years is to not waste my breath on anything or anyone that I don't feel deserves me, my time, or my heart. I've spent the majority of my life so completely guarded from so much. But when I started to accept my emotions, accept the love of others around me, accept myself, that's when I started to discover the real in me.

My 20th birthday was unlike any other. I felt more excited and more alive. More prepared for the years ahead, the opportunities and challenges and failures I knew lay before me. I attribute it all to having gained a new found faith in myself and in my abilities.

The dreams I had for myself were re-inspired by the many things I've grown to love (even more) immensely in the past year. Writing, taking care of myself--mentally and physically, my friends, my family. I promised myself that my twenties would bring amazing things. And even though I won't be 21 for a whopping ten months, my twenties so far have proven to be very good.

My point is, I was so inspired by Carly's post because I can relate. I don't know what it's like to be in your mid-twenties. My friends tell me it's kind of miserable, and I don't doubt it! Being hammered on by your peers for things they don't like about you? Whether they're telling the truth or not, it hurts. It can bring you right back to ninth grade when all you wanted was to be popular and have the cutest boy in school on your arm.

I love my family, I love my friends. I refuse to foster relationships and friendships that hinder my happiness. My favorite place in the world is Disney World. I have an obsession with Kate Spade. My dream life would be extremely similar to Carrie Bradshaw's. I have absolutely no willpower when it comes to shopping. I'm such a homebody I literally have to force myself to go out and be social on the weekends. I feel naked without make up. And up until a year or so ago, my self-esteem was extremely low. My perfect Friday night is an Audrey Hepburn movie and a cup of hot cocoa. I'm still in a constant battle between wanting to be original and wanting to conform to the "in crowd." My biggest pet peeve is when people try and make their lives seem perfect, because I know  they have to be lying! Sass might as well be my middle name, I'm far better at giving it than many people think. And I accepted the fact that I'm a drama queen a while ago. I say that without apology. #sorrynotsorry

"Create a life that feels good on the inside. Not one that just looks good on the outside."

The reason I've been enjoying life so much? I'm in a place where all I want to do is discover more about myself. The best part about growing up is getting to know all these new parts of yourself that you never knew existed. I've been practicing being real with my friends, my family, myself. I have to say, there's nothing more rewarding than discovering who you are and who you're becoming without feeling any need whatsoever  to apologize or defend yourself to those who doubt you. People who are real  scare the living daylights out of people. The woman who refuses to believe she's inferior to anyone is the most feared thing in the world (or at least she should be.) 

Be real. Be present. Be you. Unapologetically.

xoxo