Your Own Kind of Hero

Self-pity is something I think we all turn to in times of great stress and strife (or what feels like strife anyways). The past few weeks I've been scrounging up the money to be able to afford food and gas, and the other day I just completely had a meltdown and called my mom bawling my eyes out. Which only made things worse because well, "you should have known better than to spend your money on designer handbags." Anyone else feel me on this one?

Needless to say, ever since moving out of my house I'm really starting to grasp the importance of saving (read: when my paychecks roll in don't expect me to be going on any shopping sprees.) This summer is now officially dedicated to paying off my credit card bill, paying my utilities, and saving for books/winter. Ugh. Real life.

When You Believe in Something

I got back from Mexico safe and sound yesterday, and tomorrow I am off to Disney World with my family! A hectic two weeks, but fun none the less. After spending all last night doing laundry so I'd be prepared for our drive down to Providence today, it's safe to say I'm pretty exhausted. Excited to be going to Disney, not so excited my parents chose to fly us out of an airport that is five (yes, FIVE) hours away from home.

But, I can't really complain because I'm lucky enough to still be going on vacation with them at 20. It's likely to be one of my last family vacations for a long time (seeing as after next year I have to actually be a real grown up...), so I'm planning on cherishing the time I get to spend with my family in our favorite place! Yes, we may or may not call Disney World our home away from home. My brother insists he doesn't like Disney, but I think he secretly enjoys it! Not that he'll ever admit it...

Lose Sight of Shore

As you read this I'm on my way to Mexico with Taylor and Julie, two of my best friends from high school (and my new roomies!). Jealous? I'm so excited to finally be on vacation. We booked this trip kind of spur of the moment back in February or March and have been waiting for it ever since! Cancun, here we come!

Leaving America to head to Mexico hasn't exactly done wonders for my nerves. I am not the world's best traveler. It's a little better when I'm on trips alone or with friends. Anyone else feel like traveling with their whole family is extra stressful?? I love them, but I'm a significantly better solo traveler. (Sorry parentals.)

Last summer when my friend Kate and I went to Europe for two weeks, I found during the weeks leading up to our trip that I was just an anxiety-ridden mess. Granted, this was before I realized just how bad my anxiety was, but still. I was surprised to find that I've been feeling the same way since I got back from DC a few weeks ago.

She Loved Three Things...

Do you ever ask yourself what three things you love most in this world? They don't have to be people, they don't have to be tangible objects, they can be moments, songs, memories, feelings, and so on. But really, how often do you ask yourself what you love most about this world or about your life and role in it?

My guess is not very often.

I know we all try to count our blessings before we fall asleep, but to be honest once I hit middle school my nighttime ritual of reading the daily thought in my little kid's "Be Thankful" book that my Nana got me completely went out the window. I mean, I know we outgrow things, but I kind of really liked ending my days that way. It always made me feel hopeful for the next day, even if the past 24 hours had been a 10-year old's version of a living hell (and trust me, that doesn't take much.)

A Switzerland Moment

I've had those moments. Those moments where you look at the people who care for and love you, the nature that welcomes you into its world with open arms, the summer breeze that blows in off the ocean right as the sun sets. I've been lucky enough to travel and to feed my constant craving for the new. I am incessantly chasing after the next adventure or chapter of my life-- so much so that I often don't appreciate what I've seen or felt until after the moment has passed.

There's something to be said for traveling. Experiencing a new place with new people is one of the only things in this world that reminds us of just how lucky we are to be alive. 

That aspect of travel is something that we love, it's the reason we keep embarking on new adventures, and yet, you'd think by now we would have learned to make it a part of our daily lives. I live in a beautiful place, one of the greenest states in America. I am so blessed for having grown up here, and I always forget just how gorgeous it is until I've climbed up a mountain and can look down on just what an amazing place it is. It's something that goes beyond the scenery though, it's the people too. But get this, I spend the majority of my days wishing I could be somewhere else.

Isn't that sad? I don't blame myself too much for it. If there's one thing I've noticed in people it's the unwavering feeling that there's always something better out there. But I think we could all benefit from acting like where we are, even if it's where we don't want to be, is some place worth loving.

I remember waking up in Switzerland this past summer. We'd stayed in a little ski lodge outside of Lucerne, nestled right in the Swiss Alps. The windows didn't have screens, you could push them right open and the crisp mountain air would fill the room. And the view out my window is one that has been engraved in my mind since that first glance. It was one of those moments that pictures couldn't do justice. It wasn't the unbelievable beauty of the mountain towering over me that made it so special, it was how looking at that mountain made me feel. I remember thinking how awesome it was that some random little place in Switzerland could hold so much natural beauty, and I've been to a lot of tropical locations, but still I've never seen water as blue as that of Lake Lucerne.

When I consciously took a moment to acknowledge the beauty surrounding me, to acknowledge how lucky I was to be there, in that moment, I felt so extremely happy to be alive. A lot of us experience this when we travel, and I'm sure some of it is the excitement that comes with travel. But I suspect there's just as much beauty surrounding me now as there was when I was in Switzerland. Between work and school and everyday normal life, it must just be something I have to look a little harder for. But it must be there.

This week I promised myself that I would take a chance every day to recognize why I'm thankful to be where I am today. Every time I've truly felt that this life is too good to be true I've been in the presence of nature. Or with my family out to dinner. Or with my friends on a summer night, huddled around the campfire, laughing and reminiscing beneath a starry sky.

All the things that surround us are so easily overlooked, but they're the things that make us who we are. The things we appreciate define us as humans. What if we appreciated every single little moment that passed us by to its full effect? What if every moment were like that moment in Switzerland?

Granted, not every day will be great. But there's beauty in that. It's the bad moments that make even the smallest good moments seem great. Focus on the good moments, focus on what surrounds you. Make one good moment a day your own Switzerland moment, and I guarantee you'll be happier for it.

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Have a great Monday!

xoxo

There's Strength in Friendships

Anyone else ever see this quote on Pinterest? If you haven't, I may or may not be mostly convinced you live under a rock. EVERY time I see this quote on Pinterest one part of me cringes, another part of me wants to punch something (mostly myself), and the other part of me is like "Yea! Let's do this!" The latter part is often overruled by the comfort of my bed or couch, and therefore I'm afraid I'll never be quite as good as Queen B. Maybe Taylor Swift though, she seems to like to relax just as much as the next girl. Hehe.

Anyway, if you haven't picked up on it yet, my motivation has seriously been lacking.

I may have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce...

But I also thoroughly enjoy sleeping in. And spending time making a yummy breakfast. Writing blog posts, reading my favorite blogs, Pinterest-ing, Tumblr-ing, stalking people catching up on Facebook, tweeting celebs in hopes that maybe (just maybe!) they'll tweet me back. Note: The closest thing to a celebrity that's ever tweeted at me/favorited a tweet/retweeted a tweet include The College Prepster and KJP/Sarah KJP. And yes, I do squeal and jump up and down every time it happens. Whatever.

I look at weekends (like I think most normal people do...) as a time to relax, sit on the couch, watch some Netflix, maybe read a bit. Sure,  to some it kinda comes off as slacking, laziness, and so on, but I enjoy my lazy slacker Saturdays and Sundays! Sue me. I've found this past year I've just been so busy that I need the weekends to decompress. It's the very reason I don't like to go out! Some people love to go crazy with their friends to unwind after a long week; I like to go to bed, sleep in, watch TV, and not have a pounding headache the entire time!

I've been taking the entire school year to kind of try and come to terms with the fact that I'm not the crazy child I was for my first two years of college. I'm really mellowing out, kinda turning into a grandma. Don't really care about it. To be honest, I'm really quite content by myself most of the time! My family and my friends don't really get it. Sometimes I don't even get it! Why am I so content to hang out by my lonesome when all everybody else wants to do is be with their friends every second of the day?

I guess it's time to stop asking that question.

You've gotta do what makes YOU happy. The way I'm starting to look at it is like this. If your friends are really your friends, they'll understand. I do make my friends a priority; I think the older you get, the busier you get, and you need friends to get by... So you have to make them a priority. Yes, you've gotta do what makes you happy, but you've got to make choices with the people you care about in mind. 

Like relationships, friendships are hard work. You have to invest in them in order for them to become any good. I often find myself getting so wrapped up in my life that I forget to check in with people I care about. It's something I really need to work on. I mean, what's the point of being happy if you can't share that happiness with the people you love?

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."

Don't focus so much on yourself that you forget the people who have helped to make you you in the first place. Self-love and acceptance are important, but the people who've stood by you through your triumphs and failures, the people who've taught you lesson after lesson, are the people who are going to continue to help you on your journey to discovering who you really are. Life can be lonely, but it doesn't have to be. And that's all up to you.

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Happy Monday!

xoxo

Falling Apart and Into Place

Anyone else feel like today just snuck up on them? I know I've said that I don't mind Mondays, but I can't help but feel like this one came a little too quickly. But, what can you do? I haven't been feeling the best lately, and as a result my diet has kind of gone out the window. Not to mention I discovered this extremely yummy drink that I haven't had just enough of... yet. What started out as an innocent way to trick myself into thinking I was in paradise has become a favorite! Won't even apologize about it.

Now that you know of the less than admirable lifestyle choices I've been making lately (Give me ALL the carbs!), I'm looking at this Monday as a kind of renewal. I've been so discouraged lately reading all my blogs and seeing all these beautiful women that I've decided it's time for me to really start focusing on myself again. 

These past few weeks, I really got bogged down between schoolwork, the crazy weather we've been having, the fact that there's still snow on the ground and it's now MARCH... but I can't blame it all on the weather.

Truth be told, I'm the biggest wimp when I'm tired. And lately I've been feeling exhausted. I'm sure my lack of healthy eating and exercise has had a lot to do with it, but for some reason I wake up tired and by 3pm I'm just about ready for bed. It's been making me miserable.

It's no excuse. I've been bailing on friends, snapping at my parents, and have just been so down on myself lately. It makes me disappointed. I haven't been focusing enough on the "me time" that I cherish so dearly-- the time I take each day to just think and process and breathe. But it just feels like there is no time!

What worries me the most is that I know life just gets harder. I know that there's a whole other world waiting to eat you alive outside of the college bubble. So with that terrifying thought in my mind, I suppose it's time I get used to the idea of being exhausted. Missing out on life to sleep? That doesn't sound like a life at all! And it's the life I've been living for a little over a month now. Depressing, right?

Life's been throwing me a lot of lemons-- a lot of puny, annoying lemons. I've been cracking under the stress, mentally and physically. Those weeks or months when you just feel defeated? That was my February. But it's March, it's time to turn over a new leaf. Spring is (hopefully) on it's way and that means sunshine and warmer weather!

The Real Food for Thought

The thing is, when life gets hard, when every single odd in the world seems to be against you, you can't let it wreck you. I spend a lot of time being afraid of the world, of how easily it could destroy me. But fear is not what this life is meant to be about. This life is meant to be about dreams, hope, love, laughing with friends, enjoying family, and making time for what matters the most. The reality is I haven't been. I haven't yet learned how to just keep swimming when everything feels like it's falling apart.

And want to know what the other thing is? Looking back on the past month, my life isn't falling apart. Actually, all but one or two aspects of my life have rapidly started getting better and better. Isn't it funny that when everything is really going right you feel just as out of your mind as you do when everything is going wrong? Call me crazy, but maybe you have to learn to just keep swimming when everything-- your dreams, and your future-- are just at your fingertips.

Have a great Monday!

xoxo

Actions Speak Louder than Words

When I'm getting ready to write these posts, I often turn to the quotes page on Pinterest. If I'm being honest, as of late I've been lacking some serious inspiration when it comes to writing. I'm not sure why but I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. I think I'm longing so much for spring that it's become this constant gray cloud hanging over my head.

I've also been questioning my actions more lately, more so than I usually do. And I've kind of been finding, less is more. Say what you need to say, if it really needs to be said, and if it's going to help you to feel better. But if it's not going to help you to feel better or resolve a problem, then must you really say it?

In high school, and even in the past few years, I've been really good at speaking my mind. I've made a huge effort to be honest with myself, my family, and my friends.

Lately though, I've been thinking. What if there's a point where honesty is no longer beneficial? I know it all depends on the situation. Not every case is the same. The older I've gotten though, the more I've found that actions really do speak louder than words.

People pick up on hints. People pick up on when you're ready to move on. I think we've all had friendships, relationships, and even jobs that have run their course. But when you're done, when you've reached your limit? You don't just scream out loud, "I'm done! I quit! I'm moving on!" Or at least you should try your hardest not to. (Granted, it's completely acceptable to go home and jam out to this song #noshame) 

There's no point in having a huge argument over nothing and ending a friendship that could have ended gracefully in such a sour manner. There's no point in hurting someone who you once loved simply because that would make ending a broken relationship much easier. There's actually no point in dramatically quitting the job you absolutely hate (recommendations, hello?!).

Make your exit with grace. Carry yourself with grace. If you do this, they'll never have anything bad to say about you. Or if they do, it will only reflect poorly on them-- not you.

I've also found as I've grown older that a lot of people will doubt you. Not as much as you doubt yourself of course, but they'll doubt you nonetheless. When you're younger, you feel like you have to make it known to everyone who questions you just what you think of them and just how wrong they are about you. Don't waste your breath. They're doubting you for a very specific reason--and that's because they doubt themselves ten times more than they doubt you.

The best way to show these people up is to act. Do not raise your voice, do not say things you will regret. Smile and laugh, act as if your life is amazing (even if it isn't). Self-curation is completely 100% appropriate. Fake it until you make it, right? Even if you do find yourself in doubt, show yourself and prove to yourself that whatever it is you wish to do, you can do. Don't make promises, because sometimes you will fail. But everything will come full circle. Fool your doubters into thinking they were wrong. And in doing so, you might just fool yourself in the process.

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: A Friend is Like a Good Bra

I've been pondering something lately. When you're little, your family is your everything. They're your built-in support system, the people you can always turn to, the ones who are always going to love you no matter what. In light of some things that have happened recently in my life and in my friends' lives, my eyes have been so completely opened to just how important friendships are in life.

The thing about strangers is that they don't have to choose to get to know you. They don't have to like you, pretend to like you, care about you; they don't have to do anything. I'm a big believer in the idea that nothing really happens by chance, and that people stumble upon certain people for certain reasons. Friends are the family you choose, but they're also the people who choose you as their family. And I never really thought about it that way.

As the years pass us by, it becomes more clear to me and my friends just who'll be sticking around. I can list a handful of girls right off the bat that I'd call the instant someone broke my heart, and I know they'd show up at my door, bottle of wine in hand (or two), within an hour. Your best friends are the ones who know almost every single thing you've ever worried about. Whether it be a boy or what skirt you're going to wear out. They just know.

 They know how you'll react to specific information, what situations make you nervous, what people they need to keep you away from, and they know the things that make you smile (cupcakes), laugh (yoga cats), cry (The Notebook), and so on and so forth. When you're happy, they're happy for you; when you're hurting, they're hurting for you.

When we all went to college, I remember being worried that our being separated was going to be the end of it all. Years worth of friendship all gone out the window, and I don't really know why I felt that way. Because so quickly I figured out that growing apart wasn't even an option. Some of my closest friends and I are miles and miles apart, and yet when we're home and together again for the holidays it's like nothing has changed. If you ask me, distance is the test of true friendship. Earlier this week I was going through something, and one of my friends in New York texted me just to say "Hey, I'm thinking of you and I'm so lucky to have you in my life!" Didn't even know what was going on with me, honestly we probably hadn't talked in the past two weeks before that either. But that was the amazing thing about it. I swear there's something in the universe that keeps us all connected somehow. And thank God for whatever it is!

They say, "A friend is like a good bra. Hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, makes you feel better, and is always close to your heart." It's a funny line, right? But it's also so true. It's taken me twenty years to find my real, going to be around forever friends. I suspect a few more are to come along the way, but if they don't that's fine too. I've kind of got my hands full already... (kidding, but not really.) The thing that gets hard about friendships when you're older is that they're work. Real work. You'll fight with them, laugh with them, and do some of the dumbest things with them.

For those of us without sisters, your girlfriends are your sisters. Especially nowadays, I'm so thankful for that. They keep me sane, and they tell the truth... even if it hurts. That's the measure of true friends, they'll help to make you the best you you can be. Keep them close, always.

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: Forget the Safety Net

Have you ever done anything that has scared the living daylights out of you? I mean it literally scared you to no end? I know I've written about fear before. I'm no stranger to it. But I wanted to write about it again because writing is how I cope with things. I'm afraid of a lot. And when I say a lot, I mean a lot.

I'm not just talking about scary movies and Halloween haunted forest rides (can't do either...), I'm talking about life in general. I think so far being 20 has been the scariest age. I'm already young for where I am in school, and now it's starting to become more and more of a reality that I'll be graduating college in a little over a year. I still remember my first day of middle school, and thinking I had all this time left to grow up. Yeah right.

We all have our fears, mostly of what can break us. But have you ever been scared of your potential?

You're probably thinking I'm crazy right now. Who's scared of who they could be? Most people just want to go out there and be the best person they can be. And don't get me wrong, I want that too. I want to build a life I'm proud of; I have a list of things I'd like to accomplish, dreams I'd like to fulfill, goals to aspire to.

But I think what's really getting to me right now is that I'm starting to fully grasp the range of my potential. And it's not a bad thing, as a matter of fact, it's kind of a good thing. I'm not trying to say, "Oh my gosh I have so many amazing things lined up for me and life is going to be awesome and go me." I'm not that optimistic.

Truth be told though, junior year has opened up some pretty amazing opportunities. I'm learning more than I ever thought I would (in a professional sphere and in a personal sphere), and even though I've still got a lot of growing up to do, I finally feel like I have a relatively mature handle on things.

This weird thing happened on my 20th birthday. All of a sudden it was like, holy cow, my life is actually starting. There is no safety net after college. I've lived my life relying on safety nets.

So why can't I let go of the safety net?

I suppose it's not a matter of whether or not I can let go of the safety net, but more so a matter of whether or not I want to let go of the safety net. I'm aware that graduating college creates opportunity to be all that you can be, to dream big and start working your way up. And I'm so thankful for the opportunity to get the education I'm getting. But letting go of the safety net? Being stuck with only yourself and your... potential? It's such a scary thought it nearly makes me sick.

Potential isn't a guarantee of success. Potential isn't a promise for a healthy paycheck. Potential isn't a 100% chance of happiness post-college.

I promise I have a point. Relying on just your potential is a downright terrifying thought. It's even more terrifying when you're a twenty-something with a resume full of "potential." The thing that's the scariest of all though, is realizing just how much potential you have, just how successful you can be-- if only you work for it.

 Changing the cycle that's been your life for the past twenty or so years is hard, I mean, change is hard. And the thing that's so confusing to me right now is that I'm scared of failing, but I'm scared of being successful too. With so much riding on your shoulders, how are you supposed to know what to do? But I guess when life is hard like this, and you don't know which direction to go, the best thing to do is follow your heart, right? 

"What the mind can conceive and believe, and the heart can desire, you can achieve." ~ Norman Vincent Peale

If you're feeling as unsure of the future as I am right now, make this your mantra for this week. Because really, do any of us really know our true potential? I think if we did, we'd all do things a lot differently.

Happy Monday!

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: Give In

Just another manic Monday... or week! If you didn't notice, I was not able to get up a "Weekly Wonders" post last week. It felt like the week just whizzed by and between classes, homework, meetings, and life I just didn't have the time. Goal for this week: Be more on top of things.

Moving on, last week was a whirlwind of emotions and stress. We didn't have classes Monday, but something happened last Sunday that just bummed me out and put me in a funk that made accomplishing anything (besides signing a lease!!) seem impossible. By the time classes on Tuesday rolled around I had no choice but to pick myself up and work my butt off the rest of the week. I was so thankful when Friday came, I was actually dying to go out and just hang out with friends.

Sometimes letting loose with your best friends is the greatest remedy for releasing all the stress that had built up throughout the week. I mentioned here that I tend to feel anything and everything. Last week I was so busy I felt like I didn't have time to even handle anything I was feeling, and it all crept up on me Saturday when I finally had some downtime. 

I learned this summer that not taking the time to acknowledge and handle the feelings you don't want to feel is going to do you more harm in the long run then it will do you good. I was just talking about this with a friend yesterday who was feeling a little down (for good reason). Pushing away feelings you're afraid of or uncomfortable with might be a good remedy in the short term, but you have to give in to them at some point.

The bigger they are the harder they fall, right? I know this idiom is meant to describe failure, but I think it can be applied here as well. The more intense the feeling and emotion you refuse to acknowledge, the longer you harbor it somewhere deep down inside, the worse the heartbreak is going to be when they finally come to light. I've become a big proponent of taking time to consider how I'm feeling in any given situation, why I'm feeling that way, and how I can move on from it.

You can't find peace by avoiding life. You can't find peace by ignoring your emotions. The hardest part of accepting this part of life is accepting that it's okay to feel everything. When you're feeling everything at once though, that's when you run into trouble. You can run from so many things in life, but you can't run from yourself. You can't escape yourself. And your emotions are a part of who you are, a part of what defines you, a part of what defines your life. But that doesn't mean you have to let them run your life.

I'm a very intuitive person. I can tell when someone is struggling. And the one thing all these people have in common? It's not that they're broken, it's the fact that they think they're broken.

We've all been there. We've all felt lost. But if you break once, it's okay. Just don't allow yourself to stay that way. Part of the process of overcoming the tougher emotions in life--heartbreak, grief, loss, even love-- is allowing yourself to feel them. Really, truly, deeply, feel what it is your feeling and don't be sorry about it. We're all human, and we're all just trying to get by. My greatest worry about our society today is that between social media, the pressure to fit in, this "American dream" that always seems so out of reach, people have lost themselves. We've become ghosts just puttering around hoping that one day we stumble upon success. Don't be a ghost. Don't run from who you are. Give in to your emotions, give in to your feelings, and life will find a way to repay you. Honesty is one of the hardest things in life, but it's true what they say, nine times out of ten it's the best policy.

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Challenge yourself this week.

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: Breaking (Bad) Habits

We are what we repeatedly do. We are what we repeatedly do. We are what we repeatedly do.

Habits are funny things. They're so easy to make yet so hard to break. Although, I suppose the same goes for most things in life, like relationships and friendships. They sneak up on you and sometimes you realize that these things-- habits, relationships, friendships-- are not helping you, but hindering you. And when it's time to put an end to whatever it is that's hurting you, sometimes you think it would almost just be easier to hold on to it for just a little longer. Acknowledge the problem, let it sit, and single-handedly ruin any shot at progress you may have had. Such is life. Hard.

Lately I've been on quite the healthy kick, and I notice myself going through this same kind of cycle. Monday through Thursday I'm so on top of everything. The exercising, the eating, the "mental breaks." And then Friday hits and between hanging out with friends, being bored and what not it all seems to just get thrown out the window. Being healthy has been something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I wasn't born into a family genetically blessed with high metabolisms, and I've come to accept that. But it bothers me so much at the same time.

This is where habits come in. Over the course of 20 years, I've developed eating and exercise habits that are less than perfect. Granted, they've gotten significantly better as I've gotten older, but nonetheless it's a struggle. Some days it's easy, and some days it just seems like the hardest thing in the world-- to get myself to the gym or to choose the salad over the sandwich. Last night I was searching all over Pinterest for some kind of inspiration to re-inspire me to get back on the path I was on just three days ago, then I realized the only thing that could inspire me, was me.

Breaking old habits has got to be one of the hardest things in the world. And I'm not just talking about breaking away from an unhealthy lifestyle. I'm talking about the boy you always run back to when things go wrong, or the desk load of work you dive into as some kind of distraction from the mess that is your life (or so it seems). We all have our ways of coping, but are they healthy?

I have this (other) bad habit of convincing myself that I'm not deserving of some of the things that my friends have. I won't go into details, but I've had to work the hardest on this habit in order to overcome it. It's taken so long (so so so long) to break through the barriers where this feeling of unworthiness was coming from. And the thing is, until someone pointed out to me that I had a habit of doing this, of validating my own belief that I wasn't enough, I had no idea I was even doing it. I didn't have a clue of just how unhealthy of a state my mind was in.

"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway."

We all have bad habits. We all have our days. We're all human. There are so many ups and downs and twists and turns in life that it's no wonder the fair majority of us feel like we're wandering around like chickens with our heads cut off! I never realized just how insane I felt on a day to day basis until I took the time to acknowledge and reflect upon the habits that, in the end, were contributing to that feeling of instability and insanity.

I'm so happy with life right now I don't know what to do with myself. Of course there are days where I'm less than thrilled to have to get out of my warm and cozy bed, but those kinds of days tend to be the ones that surprise me the most. Shifting one's focus from the negative to the positive, from a bad habit to a better habit, can make all the difference in life. Take into consideration habits you feel could be hindering you and your success, and think about how you can tweak them just enough to not throw your whole week off balance. It's about baby steps, right? Doesn't slow and steady win the race?

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: Make Good Use of Today

As you're reading this, I'm probably sitting in class, willing my professor to stop explaining every last bit of the syllabus and begging the clock to tick a little faster. Going back to classes after a month of not having any obligations is kind of a bummer... kind of a blessing too though. I was surprisingly productive last week, so I'm hoping it carries through into this week.

Don't get me wrong, I don't necessarily hate school. Now that I've passed the obligatory classes (taking courses that don't pertain whatsoever to my major is just SO fun!), it's really not so bad. But, classes are at the top of my list of anxiety triggers, followed by change and failure. I suppose in my world they all kind of go together interchangeably.

 So, confession time. I had a bit of a meltdown anxiety attack yesterday when I realized that none of my professors had put up a syllabus and some of them hadn't even posted what textbooks we need. (Go you, college!) I'm not proud of it. 

I tweeted the quote to the left on Saturday when I came across it on Pinterest. Nothing more true has ever been said, especially if you're me. I'm so good at making myself miserable if I want to be miserable (sounds awful, I know...), and I'm also immensely talented at being strong for myself and for others when I feel I need to be. It's a blessing and a curse, but the amount of work I put into either emotion is literally the same. 

After my moments of panic and anxiety, I almost always come to the conclusion that the thing I was worrying about (in this case, school...) was really nothing worth fretting about. When I was texting my best friend about how distraught I was, the first thing she said was, "Em, you'll get the syllabus in your class tomorrow. Don't worry!" And then I realized just how silly I was being. So, I'm a little crazy. In my defense though, what twenty year old isn't?

The bottom line is, if I hadn't spent all that time yesterday worrying about what was going to happen today, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. Focusing on the positive things in life is so hard sometimes; I've spent the past year working on it. While I've improved, sometimes those days are just inevitable. For every down there is an up though, and I have found that there are some pretty great ways to turn a bad day around. AND even better? There's a pin for that. (Yay!)

Each morning I've been trying to take a moment when I wake up to decide how my day is going to go. On Friday morning I was even able to convince myself that my day was going to start off with an 8:15 am spin class! And I'm telling you, that hour to myself made all the difference in what ended up being an extremely busy day. Even if it meant losing an hour of sleep.

I know this post is kind of all over the place, but truth be told it's because my mind has been all over the place lately... Which, if I'm being honest, has made focusing on being positive all the more difficult. I know I can't be the only one with what seems like a trillion things to think about; but what I do know is that taking a moment for yourself, even if that moment is thirty seconds to compliment a stranger on their adorable shoes, can make such a huge difference. 

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you." ~Walt Whitman

January is a tough month, and full of so many expectations. We're nearly halfway through it already (scary, right?!), so don't let the winter blues get to you. Choose to be happy, choose to be productive, and choose to mold yourself into the best you you can be, every day. Choose to make good use of every day you're alive. I mean, when you look back on your life, do you want your memories to be of sitting on your couch or celebrating your hard-earned promotion over a glass of champagne with your best friends?

Happy Monday loves!

Make it a good one.

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: A Little Bit of Faith

In the past two years, I have never been tested more by life. If I'm being completely honest, I was miserable. Adjusting to college, being broken in two by the loss of not one, but two loved ones, going through strange transitions with friends, losing them to relationships and drifting apart thanks to the distance between us... It can all take such a huge toll on a person. 

For most people, Mondays are the worst day of the week. I, on the other hand, have always looked at Mondays as a fresh start. For two years, I relied on the idea that when Monday came everything would be better. 

Then this summer, with the help of my mother, I realized it was getting me nowhere. With a little extra help, I've come an extremely long way, and I am so, so thankful for that. And while Mondays may not promise a completely fresh start, they do mark the start of a new week. For me, there's no better way to get through that week than with a little bit of inspiration. 

"Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe." ~Plato

An extremely dear friend of mine is being tested in the worst way imaginable right now. It kills me to see it, and when I found out what had happened I started questioning so many things that I've spent the past two years questioning, all over again.

I questioned it all so much that I forgot the most important thing I've learned in maybe my whole life. No matter how many bills pile up on your desk, how many final papers you have to write in "x" amount of time, no matter who breaks your heart, you have to believe that life is going to go on. But maybe the most important thing I've found is that you have to have faith in your strength, the strength of your loved ones, and you have to have faith in what you believe in.

I've heard time and time again, as I'm sure many of you have, that you have no idea how strong you are until you're at your weakest. And it's true. Often times, it's the greater pains in life that mold you into the human being you're meant to be.

So whatever this week has in store for you, whatever this life has in store for you, keep your head up. It doesn't have to be in a particular person or figure, all you need in life is faith in yourself and faith that this is a life worth living. And if that doesn't seem possible, count your blessings. Count them every day, and never let life get you so far down that you forget to actually live.

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life-- to be happy-- that's all that matters." ~Audrey Hepburn