Five Things

Want to know how awkward it is to stalk yourself on Facebook? Okay, I know we all do it... but I actually had a purpose this time. Looking for selfies. You'll know why in a bit. Anyways, I've been seeing people in my news feed posting to a page called Gratitude Journal. I'd join it but you have to post three things a day, and most people do it first thing in the morning, but I never go on Facebook in the morning. I tend to try and remind myself what I'm most grateful for each night before I go to bed. 

But anyways, lately I've been feeling kind of grateful for myself. But before you call me conceited, hear me out! 

It takes a lot to be a strong person, and while I have my weaknesses I think I am an inherently strong-willed girl. Mentally I'm in a completely different place than I've ever been, but I still have days where I just get so down on myself. And I find myself consciously reminding myself of how good a person I am-- something I think everybody needs to do. You can't be the best version of yourself at any given time without believing you're the best you you can be... for now, anyways.

So, I thought for today's post I'd write five things I like about myself. You should grab a journal and do it too! Sometimes the only person who can convince you of just how amazing you are is yourself.

#loveyourselfie

1. I'm Loyal.

I'm so fiercely loyal to my friends and my family (and my dog) and my beliefs that sometimes I think it's a bad thing. Actually, it has proven to be a bad thing a few times in the past... especially when someone turns out to be someone completely different than who you thought they were. Thankfully it doesn't happen often, but it takes a lot of patience for someone to be loyal. I mean, all the buttons people you love can push can get to be a lot, but at the end of the day I'd do anything for my friends and family. They're everything to me.

2. I'm Hard-working.

Since I was 15 I've held down a job (or two, or three...). And I've been a full-time student. And now I have an internship on top of all of that. I may be too busy for my own good, but I love it. It keeps me going and keeps me motivated when it comes to making sure I set myself up for success.

3. I'm a Dreamer.

Literally last night when I was going to bed, I told myself to dream of Paris. And guess what! I did. Then I woke up fully believing I was going to move there and learn French after working for a couple years following graduation. Wouldn't that be lovely? La Vie en Rose may or may not be on repeat all day today... But hey, dreams keep me going.

4. I'm a family gal.

Sometimes I think it's weird because one of my favorite people to hang out with is my mom. Sunday nights are my favorite because of our family dinners with our neighbors, and the holidays are the best in my book. And while my family does tend to drive me a little crazy at times (don't they all?!), there's nothing better than a family vacation.

5. I'm Confident. (#myrealselfie)

I think this comes with age, but I'm lucky because despite all my insecurities I've always considered myself to be an overall confident person. A lot of people tell me I'm intimidating which I find funny because 98% of the time I'm doing something completely illogical. But I've found that when you believe in yourself and who you are, good things come your way. Things that are meant for you, people you're meant to stumble upon, memories you're meant to make, and I find something unbelievably surreal in that.

Gotta say, I thought a "sweat pants, hair-tied (except for not in this one), chilling with no make up (and glasses) on" look would be far more intimidating to share with the world. Be proud of who you are, imperfections and all.

xoxo, 

Em

Monday Inspiration: The Most Important Relationship You'll Ever Be In

Photo via Inslee

I will quote Carrie Bradshaw until the day I die. In all honesty, I think she's one of the smartest people on the planet. Fictional character though she may be, she had a ton of amazing advice for girls the world over!

"The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."

Now I've never had a serious relationship. What I've learned about guys has come from very short "flings" and one major crush. I've experienced immense heartbreak, just not at the hand of a guy (yet, anyways.) Truthfully, I think half the reason I've never been able to commit to someone is because I've spent so much time learning to love myself first.

A lot of "grown-ups" would say this is a good thing, that you have to love yourself first before you can fully commit to anyone. And I think they're right, but I also think that you have to go through good and bad relationships to learn more about yourself. I suppose that's where I fall short.

Love You, For You

It's kind of a funny thing because all my friends who are in relationships will turn to me for advice on what to do when they're having issues with their significant other. I have no idea why. I'm the most emotionally reserved person I know, I could literally go years without telling someone what's really on my mind. As a matter of fact, I have. And it sucked. I pride myself on knowing myself so well and on having taken the time to learn how to love myself, but in the process I made a lot of people my punching bags.

I think because I spent so much time focusing on myself I really missed some opportunities for good relationships. I'm extremely good at being selfish, to the point of it being my major downfall. But this is where I've looked to my friends. The girls who have been able to give themselves to someone completely; the girls who have put their hearts on what I would refer to as the chopping block.

They're the bravest girls I know.

A lot of my girlfriends have gone down many different paths. Some have chosen to weather the storm and work for their long-distance relationship, for others it hasn't worked out so well. Some have had their hearts broken on roller coaster romances that have lasted for years and years, and others are just finally settling into what looks like a promising relationship. I admire them. I see their strengths and how they've grown as they've come to recognize themselves as not an "I", but a "we." But being on the outside looking in has it's faults too.

While these girls are some of the most selfless people I know, selflessness can be both a blessing and a curse. I think a lot of people can lose themselves in their relationship. Men and women alike! And I'm not saying that any of my friends have. At least not from what I've noticed. But what worries me, is that if I were to enter into a relationship, if "I" were to become a "we", who would I be anymore?

I've heard of multiple girls that are my age who have become so lost in the process of looking for someone to make them happy. Their loneliness guides them to men who have no idea who they actually are, or worse, to men who just... don't care. There's nothing people fear more than being lonely. People tend to confuse relationships with completion rather than companionship.

The only relationship that's going to complete you though, is the relationship you have with yourself. I've seen girls say, "Well my boyfriend really likes this dress so I'm going to wear this one instead." Wear whatever freaking dress you want! It's great that you want to impress your boyfriend, but if you don't feel your 100% absolute best in the dress that he loves, then is it really the perfect fit?

It's so easy-- so so easy, to let the idea of love fuel the need to fill whatever void it is that your heart is nursing. But the idea of love isn't going to be the thing that completes you. Falling in love with the perfect man isn't going to be the thing that completes you. Falling in love with yourself though? Loving every single aspect of yourself? Flaws and all, without apology? That's going to be the thing that makes you whole in the end. 

The relationship you have with yourself is the hardest one you'll ever have, but it's also the most rewarding. Pushing yourself to expand your horizons, challenge your limits, and question your beliefs is what builds character. The fact that you get so incredibly worked up over sports events, or that you can't go to bed without the kitchen clean is what makes you you. And somebody is going to love those aspects of you one day SO much they won't know what to do with themselves. But they're never going to be able to love you as you are, if you don't love yourself first.

Love yourself. Be yourself. Challenge yourself. And when all else fails, imagine yourself as Blair. Because really, what girl loves herself more than fabulous Blair Waldorf?

xoxo