Tough Love

Have you ever been venting to someone and when it came time for them to give some much-needed advice, it just... wasn't what you wanted to hear? Or if you get a double whammy, it wasn't what you wanted to hear and it just downright hurt. I'm right in saying we've all had those moments, right? Am I also right in saying that often times, friendships take complete turns after someone is just completely honest with you? Whether it be about where they're at, or where you're at, the raw truth can have serious impacts on friendships.

Making the Cut

We all reach a point in our lives where we're just sick of the bulls***. We're sick of fake smiling at people we don't like, sick of holding onto friendships that don't serve us in a positive way, sick of trying to be somebody we're not to please those around us. Sick of feeling like we're stuck in this never-ending bubble of scrutiny from every which way. In case you haven't gathered this, I kind of learned a lot of life lessons this summer, so buckle up-- because they're all starting to really hit me.

I feel like I've always been the girl with a wide range of friends. I could hang out with different "groups" in high school and get along fine, but it wasn't until a few years ago that I really found my inner circle. I'm a firm believer in the idea that every girl needs a close, tight-knit group of friends.

Growing up, I had a lot of great friendships that came and went-- some that even still linger. But when life gets busy, and your best friends move to new cities, and they find new friends to have amazing adventures with, it gets hard to stay in touch. I think a lot of us have a really hard time grasping this, the idea that it's okay to move on. Some friendships aren't meant to last forever, and there comes a point where you're just not willing to give up some precious free time for people who ultimately don't mean that much to you. You were friendly acquaintances once upon a time, but now you want to spend your weekends with the girls who have been with you through it all. To hell and back. And then back again.

 The majority of people I love the most I speak to every day--partially because I live with two of them, partially because I like to annoy a select few of them with random texts consisting of solely emojis, and partially because a girl's best friends aren't going to leave her alone ever (even when you sometimes maybe want them to!) But then I also have the best friends I talk to once in a while, but when we're together everything is the same.

It's these friendships that I value the most. The girls who have made the cut. A lot of us spend a fair majority of high school (and college, even) trying to figure out where we belong. Who will be the ones holding your hair back and letting you cry over everything and anything? Who will be the ones coming into your room on Sunday morning to go over the night before? Who will be the ones standing next to you on your wedding day? Who will be the ones that the boy who broke your heart is down right terrified of?

It's okay to make the cut. It's healthy for people to move on as they grow older. Every friendship we've ever had has taught us something special, and that's the point of some friendships. You acknowledge what this person taught you, and you go on with your life. But the girls who made the cut? There's a good chance that once they've made it, they'll stay there. Forever. And that's all that really matters in the end. We all know who said our best friends are our real soul mates, right?

xo

Damn Regret

I've been hearing a lot about exes lately. Not mine, but my friends. And I love being there for them, and I have my own things that I look back on and regret doing or saying. We all do. It's impossible not to. But the past few weeks especially I've noticed just how much regret gets in the way of our futures. We all fear it so much that we're consumed by it. But why?

There's Strength in Friendships

Anyone else ever see this quote on Pinterest? If you haven't, I may or may not be mostly convinced you live under a rock. EVERY time I see this quote on Pinterest one part of me cringes, another part of me wants to punch something (mostly myself), and the other part of me is like "Yea! Let's do this!" The latter part is often overruled by the comfort of my bed or couch, and therefore I'm afraid I'll never be quite as good as Queen B. Maybe Taylor Swift though, she seems to like to relax just as much as the next girl. Hehe.

Anyway, if you haven't picked up on it yet, my motivation has seriously been lacking.

I may have the same amount of hours in a day as Beyonce...

But I also thoroughly enjoy sleeping in. And spending time making a yummy breakfast. Writing blog posts, reading my favorite blogs, Pinterest-ing, Tumblr-ing, stalking people catching up on Facebook, tweeting celebs in hopes that maybe (just maybe!) they'll tweet me back. Note: The closest thing to a celebrity that's ever tweeted at me/favorited a tweet/retweeted a tweet include The College Prepster and KJP/Sarah KJP. And yes, I do squeal and jump up and down every time it happens. Whatever.

I look at weekends (like I think most normal people do...) as a time to relax, sit on the couch, watch some Netflix, maybe read a bit. Sure,  to some it kinda comes off as slacking, laziness, and so on, but I enjoy my lazy slacker Saturdays and Sundays! Sue me. I've found this past year I've just been so busy that I need the weekends to decompress. It's the very reason I don't like to go out! Some people love to go crazy with their friends to unwind after a long week; I like to go to bed, sleep in, watch TV, and not have a pounding headache the entire time!

I've been taking the entire school year to kind of try and come to terms with the fact that I'm not the crazy child I was for my first two years of college. I'm really mellowing out, kinda turning into a grandma. Don't really care about it. To be honest, I'm really quite content by myself most of the time! My family and my friends don't really get it. Sometimes I don't even get it! Why am I so content to hang out by my lonesome when all everybody else wants to do is be with their friends every second of the day?

I guess it's time to stop asking that question.

You've gotta do what makes YOU happy. The way I'm starting to look at it is like this. If your friends are really your friends, they'll understand. I do make my friends a priority; I think the older you get, the busier you get, and you need friends to get by... So you have to make them a priority. Yes, you've gotta do what makes you happy, but you've got to make choices with the people you care about in mind. 

Like relationships, friendships are hard work. You have to invest in them in order for them to become any good. I often find myself getting so wrapped up in my life that I forget to check in with people I care about. It's something I really need to work on. I mean, what's the point of being happy if you can't share that happiness with the people you love?

"There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate."

Don't focus so much on yourself that you forget the people who have helped to make you you in the first place. Self-love and acceptance are important, but the people who've stood by you through your triumphs and failures, the people who've taught you lesson after lesson, are the people who are going to continue to help you on your journey to discovering who you really are. Life can be lonely, but it doesn't have to be. And that's all up to you.

1/2/3

Happy Monday!

xoxo

Monday Inspiration: Dress Yourself in Strength

So, you know how I was bummed on Friday? My poor mood was only made worse by the fact that my flight to Colorado was cancelled, changed, then cancelled again. And now I have to wait until the summer to make it out there. Trust me when I say I'm disappointed. Luckily for me, I have fabulous family here in Massachusetts and they have helped cheer me up tremendously over the weekend.

If there's one thing I've learned in the past week, it's that you can't control everything in life (sigh). I've come to accept this more so this year than ever. When it comes to how other people act and things like the weather, I've found you kind of just have to take a deep breath and roll with it. When life hands you lemons, you really just have to learn to make that lemonade.

Last Monday, after writing my New Year's post, I decided that I really and truly wanted to make 2014 my year. I even made a Pinterest board for inspiration... (follow it here!) As I was pinning pin upon pin, I realized just how many of my choices in life were driven by fear. The decision to not say how I'm feeling, to not go to that gym class because I'm terrified of embarrassing myself, to not take that hard class with that mean professor for fear that it'll tear me apart. 

Starting this blog was an absolutely terrifying experience. When I saw that even twenty people read my very first post about my trip to Europe, I teared up. And I felt so relieved. The part of me that always cared what people thought, the part of me that worried about those who would think, "Why did she start a blog? What could she have to say?", has slowly (and I mean slowly...) faded away-- post by post.

A few things have happened in my life that have made me feel like an unbelievably weak human being. The first two years of college were, in all honesty, horrible. My junior year is proving to be much different. I'm finally at a place where I'm not wasting my time on people who could care less about me, I'm not trying to nurse friendships that don't stand a chance, and I'm making my happiness my top priority.

When friends come to me for advice, almost always I can be quoted saying, "You're in your twenties, your life is just beginning. Do what you want to do and let everything else figure itself out." The problem with being in your twenties is that you second guess every move you make though, isn't it?

I'm just so sick of questioning myself. I love this quote about not requiring validation from anyone. Everyone is always telling me, "Enjoy your twenties, they'll fly by!" And after years of wishing year upon year away, I suppose it's time to take their advice. As depressing as it sounds, I can't remember a time in my life when I didn't feel like the weakest link. Nowadays, I've never been more confident in who I am and who I want to be. (And I can't tell you enough that when you start believing in yourself, everything else really does just fall into place!)

"Sky above me. Earth below me. Fire within me."

Growing up is hard. Being a teen is hard. High school, college, balancing friendships and relationships, good grief. Sometimes it's the worst! But you've got to dress yourself every day in strength. Designer jeans, that cashmere sweater from J. Crew, and Tory Burch riding boots might make for a great outfit, but it all means nothing if the woman who's wearing them isn't beautiful and strong from the inside out.

Go kick some butt this week ladies. Happy Monday!

xoxo

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