Go Ahead and Fuel My Fire

I'm not going to lie and say I've been the happiest of girls as of late. Truth be told, the past few weeks have been absolutely annoying. Almost so annoying that I literally think I may have a hangover of sorts from just being so annoyed all. the. time. Being twenty and living at home, stuck somewhere between kid and adult, not wanting to grow up, and yet at the same time only wanting to get the heck out. To live on my own, to finally start a real life for myself-- instead of this constant state of in between. But apparently nobody understands just how awful of a feeling that is, something I find extremely unfortunate.

"There's only one success; to spend your life your own way."

I am lucky because I feel so sure of what I want to do and where I want to go. I'm not going to be that girl that graduates college and still has no idea what to do with her life. I know that working with social media and marketing is where I'm meant to be. I can interpret the denotations and connotations within an ad in minutes thanks to my classes at school. I know what works and doesn't work when it comes to targeting people my age. I know that I love writing and I know that a job that in some way or another embodies all of these things is the one I'm perfectly suited for.

 I already do what I want to do part-time (and by part-time I mean an internship that's basically six hours a week). But never the less, I've learned so much in those six hours a week through trial and error. And not just about what it's like to be in a real work environment, but what it's like to have to challenge yourself. To have to pitch your ideas to those above you, to feel the heat rise up into your already rosy cheeks as you wait for them to agree or disagree with the course of action you want to take. It's nerve-wracking and exciting, and so rewarding when they tell you that you've done well.

I firmly believe that I will be successful after college. It's one of the things I don't worry about. And there's nothing I hate more than when people make me feel like it's something I should be worried about. I get that we live in a society where we live to work; I understand that in other societies it's the other way around. I guess I just don't want to live to work, but at the same time I don't want to work to live. Like everybody else, I just want to find a happy balance. I think I'm way more optimistic about my future than others tend to be; I think it intimidates a lot of people as well. But here's the thing. I don't care.

"Life's tough. Get a helmet."

I am confident in who I am, what I believe, and where I want to go. I will go to the ends of the earth to get there. It doesn't matter what city I end up in after college (the Boston or New York debate continues...), it doesn't matter that I'm from one of the smallest, most sheltered states in America. I'm going to be just fine.

Our generation gets hated on so much for being naive. For living well outside our means. For dreaming big, living large, and working hard. Do you think anyone would be anywhere in life without being some kind of naive? No freaking way. Nobody would get anywhere because they'd be so deathly afraid of all the failure they could encounter on their journey. So let me be naive. Let me learn on my own terms. Let me fall and scrape my knee, or break my leg, or my arm, or every ounce of my being trying to become the best version of myself. Make fun of me and roll your eyes if that's how you have to deal with it. Call me names, treat me like I'm dumb. Go ahead. But you'll be laughing when ten years from now I'm so successful all those words you shot at me and daggers you stabbed me with will be a faint memory.

I don't have time for mean and nasty. I don't have time for unsupportive friends. I do, on the other hand, have the time to write a post to tell you this very, very important lesson-- say what you want, do what you want. And let your haters fuel your fire. Don't live for them, don't work for them. Keep them in the back of your mind every time you doubt yourself. And see who's laughing in the end.

xoxo